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Disheartened
Posted on October 31st, 2010 No commentsLord Jesus. I want to be completely open and honest with you. I need your strength and comfort now. This evening while I was at the church carnival, I had a distinct feeling of awkwardness about what I am doing in journaling my prayers with you and what you are doing with Beginning of Wisdom. I think it started when I told [my sister’s fiancée] that I am starting a ministry and I wanted to tell him and [my sister] about it. Now, it wasn’t the right time to go into it, but after I made the statement, there were a one or two other times that night, I think just as I was observing other people talking or whatever, that I felt basically foolish or naive for doing this. I ask that you shed some light on this for me.Michael, I have something huge to reveal to you.What, Lord?What they think doesn’t matter. What you think they think matters even less.That’s true… I understand that.Michael, there is a reason that you are not distracted by relationships. There is purpose in it. It’s purpose has led you down this path; down the path I am leading you. Your relationships in the past have done nothing but serve as distraction from me. I cannot have that for you at this time. There will be a time for it, but now is not it.Also, you are right to appreciate your wife. I know that you came away from tonight feeling unworthy and grateful that she chooses to be with you. You don’t have anything to feel unworthy for her devotion, in fact, you are exactly who she needs in certain ways and she is exactly who you need in certain ways. However, you are right to appreciate her – you are called to love her as I love my church. Lay down your life for her. She may or may not appreciate it. She may or may not do what you want for her to do. But that is not the point. You do what I call you to do, and you and your relationship with her will be blessed.
Thank you Lord. Your word brings such comfort. It saddens me to go through life without close friendships, but if you say there is purpose in it, then I trust you. Is there anything you would have me do about it?Michael, you can just simply stop worrying about it. When you meet people, don’t place such high expectations or hope for what could be. Be yourself, for better or worse. I will bring the right people into your life when the time is good for me and my purposes.Like I said, Lord, this saddens me, but I trust you.Michael, remember what I said earlier… what matters least is what you think you know about someone else. The thing is, what you say saddens you is not necessarily something that you are lacking. You are not prepared to have the kind of relationships that I want for you. You are not prepared to turn away the kind of relationships that I don’t want for you. They would be a hindrance to my work through you. I know you don’t want that.I understand Lord. I’ll let go of the “need”, and trust you that it is in your hands. Is there anything else you would have me know tonight?I am pleased that you came to me in this way. It is of tremendous benefit to our relationship that you are able to be vulnerable and personal with me. That is the kind of communion that will be blessed and will build our relationship to the point of true power in your life and in the world.Thank you Lord. -
Leveraging Lessons Learned
Posted on October 30th, 2010 No commentsIn a previous entry, I said: “The greatest takeaway / lesson from that experience (the seemingly wasted time of computer gaming) was the model of using positive reinforcement feedback to strengthen the bond between the user and the system. Can this be used by God? What would a system look like that used this model to bring people closer to Him?”
Lord Jesus, is there any guidance you would provide on this topic?Humans are created in a specific way to become more sensitive to reward as they experience reward. In other words, the experience of reward creates a thirst for more reward. As long as that cycle is maintained, the person can continue indefinitely in that pattern.The trick is, this system can either lead the person closer to me more quickly, or further away more quickly. This condition is what makes it possible to become intimate with me, as well as makes it possible to find yourself firmly in the clutches of the enemy. However, I am able to redeem a person from their sin any time they decide to truly turn from their sin and seek me fully.
All this goes to say that systems are created all the time that depend on this principle. However, the reward of the quenching of the thirst of the spirit is the only reward that is truly satisfying. All other rewards, once pursued to their fullest, wind up feeling empty.
So, Lord, can I use this principle with Beginning of Wisdom, so that people will gain momentum in their journaling and their relationship with you?Yes Michael. That’s one of the things I want you to be sensitive to as you re-read your entries. Notice how the momentum was gained, and come to me at that time for specifics on how to make the experience more tangible for people who use BoW. There are many ways to use this principle – and this is one of the ways in which BoW will stand apart in its value to my body.Ok, thank you Lord. -
Next Steps with BoW
Posted on October 30th, 2010 No commentsLord Jesus. I’m almost complete with the loading of my old entries. Is there another task you would have me complete now?I want you to now read through all of your entries.Really? That doesn’t seem like a great use of time to me. But I trust you.There is blessing in obedience. Stay observant and it will be revealed to you.May I ask for another task at the same time?You may always ask, Michael. You may file for non-profit status.Really? Does that really relate to your plan in all of this?I wouldn’t give you the task if it didn’t relate to my plan. You will need non-profit status if you’re going to have any hope of a donation of any size. This project will need resources to complete to meet my intent, and there are others who I will be calling to this project. So, you need to establish the corporate entity to conform with your laws.Ok, Lord. Thank you for your guidance.Later…
Lord Jesus. I want to slow down a bit here and ask you again about your intent in directing me toward filing for non-profit status. Are you sure that’s what you want? In church service today, Rick talked about finances and the promises you make about finances, as long as certain premises are met. I wonder if you were speaking to me that BoW should be a for-profit site?Michael, it really doesn’t matter. The money is not the issue or the focus. I am directing you toward non-profit so that money is not the focus. With this venture, I want you to make the most of the money that is available to you. It may not turn out to be something that replaces your current salary job, but it will still make significant impact. The money will come when it’s needed.Isn’t it needed now? I mean, there seems like there is so much to do.Well, the only thing for you to do right now is read my Word, talk with me, and finish loading your entries. Then you may move on to re-reading all your entries and filing for non-profit. I have not asked you for anything else, not even to plan next steps. I want you to walk in faith on this project. At some point, assuming your obedience, there will come a time when resources will be needed. I may call upon you or someone else, but if the resources are needed, and your heart is right, the resources will be provided.Ok, Lord. I understand and trust you. Thank you for putting up with my doubt and questioning.You never have to apologize for wanting to know me or my intent. I may not tell you everything, but you may feel free, and I encourage you, to ask whatever is on your mind. -
Checking in with Christ
Posted on October 28th, 2010 No commentsLord Jesus, I want to ask you whether it pleases you that while I am loading all my old journal entries into BoW, that I am taking the opportunity to learn from how I’ve organized my journal entries over time, so that I can set up a proper and effective categorization structure for others when they sign up.Michael, what you are doing is one benefit that I intend in what I’ve asked you to do. You have experience that others need to be able to leverage. This activity is absolutely acceptable and pleasing to me, as it is correlated directly with my call (loading old entries).Thank you Lord. Are there other benefits that you want to share with me that I should pay attention to?They will be revealed through the activity itself. Keep going, don’t get distracted, you’re doing well since you’ve refocused on my will. Look for the direct benefit / blessing of your obedience to this activity. It’s there if you’re sensitive to it. Do not overlook the blessing of obeying my call / command.Yes Lord. Thank you Lord. I ask for your help once again in staying focused on obeying your call. I ask that you would help to protect me from the distractions of the world and the enemy.It is done. Continue asking Michael. Each time you ask will be a renewing of your ability to accept my help.Thank you. -
Why is Obedience So Hard?
Posted on October 25th, 2010 No commentsLord Jesus, why is obedience so hard? You spelled things out so simply to me yesterday. I have three things that you want me to spend my ministry time on. Yet, whenever I have a moment to spend on the ministry, I veer to other things. Why do I do that? Please help me.
Michael, first of all, don’t consider it “ministry time”. It’s “devotional time”, time devoted to me and my purposes. You are having devotional time right now.
I always considered devotional time as being something that you do through some sort of guided experience. Like if I were to buy a “devotional book”, it would lay out a plan for me to follow.
There are devotional guides, but there is no such thing as a devotional book.
What do you mean by that?
A book can guide you to activities that you do in devotion to me, but the mere reading or even following through of exercises in a book does not constitute devotional time. Devotional time is time set apart for me, for my purposes, to hear my voice, seek my face and do my will. A book can guide you in that, but the condition of your heart will determine whether it’s truly devotional time.
But let’s get back to you. If you are not doing one of the above activities (to hear my voice, seek my face and do my will), you are not devoting your time to me. If you are doing your own thing, and calling it ministry, you are sorely mistaken.
Wow… you’re right (of course you are…). Please continue.
Your ministry is defined as my will accomplished through your life. If you are accomplishing your will, then it’s not ministry. If you are building the website in ways that I do not instruct at a particular time, you might as well be doing something else, because it’s not my project any more. I will bless you, and I will bless my ministry through you, but it must be my ministry. Your will must be subjected to mine.
So why is it so hard!? I understood what you said to me yesterday – I have three choices with my devotional time: Bible study, prayer, and importing my journal entries. But I’m doing anything but that with my available moments today.
The enemy is always at work Michael. He distracts and distorts. There are plenty of opportunities in front of you to make you go all different directions than the path I have laid out for you. It comes down to choice, which is a matter of how much you have been able to subject your mind (subject to distractions) to your heart (connected with my will).
Can I ask for help in resisting the enemy and his distractions? If I ask, will you help?
Of course! But I won’t help if you don’t ask. Your asking is a requirement because it demonstrates humility, that you understand that you cannot do it alone. Ask and ask often – I am hear to help you toward my ends.
God is available to help me in resisting the enemy from distractions and deception, but I have to ask. My asking is a requirement because it demonstrates humility, that I understand that I cannot do it alone. I must ask and ask often – He is with me to help me toward His ends. Each time I ask will be a renewing of my ability to accept His help.
Then Lord Jesus, I ask for your help in resisting the enemy and his distractions from my hearing and doing your will.
Done.
So… now what?
Now do what I’ve asked you to do.
Ok…
Later…
Lord Jesus, when I am finished with the task of loading in my old entries, will you provide new direction?
Yes, Michael. And at some point you will be instructed in multiple ways at once, you’re just not ready for that yet. If you’re not ready to carry out a single task from beginning to end without distraction, how distracted will you be when I am asking you for more at once. But again, I’m here to help you each step of the way, as long as you ask for my help.
Thank you Lord. I am your servant.
Later…
Lord Jesus, can I proceed with an application for non-profit status? PayPal is not allowing me to access my account until I provide proof of non-profit status.
Why do you need access to the account?
To pay for services in building it to be better suited to its mission.
You don’t have anything to pay for right now. Right now you have a single task. Maybe this PayPal limitation is a blessing in disguise…
Ok, I get it. I’ll stay focused. I just wanted to ask.
You’re allowed to ask. Just be honest with yourself about what you’re hearing from me. I’ll keep you on track as much as you need me to and ask me to.Thank you Lord. -
Reproval – It Hurts but it’s Welcome
Posted on October 24th, 2010 No commentsLord Jesus, I want to try something right now with you. I have a couple hours of time alone that I can use for whatever I want. But, I am coming to you for your guidance. What is your will for me in this moment? What would you have me do with this time?Michael, I have already laid out steps that I want you to take right now. Wade in my word, connect with me in prayer, import all of your old entries into BoW. You’re getting ahead of yourself, Michael. You’re getting ahead of me. It is understandable that you are excited that the site attracted its first signups – that’s great, it really is. But you are not ready for it, as you know. It doesn’t do you, them or me any good for them to signup when the site is not ready for it.I understand. So if it’s the case that someone signed up already, can’t I interpret that as your will? I emailed them to ask for unbiased feedback – isn’t that a good thing?Not necessarily, Michael. You don’t need their feedback yet. It’s not supposed to be ready yet.Should I take the feature down?It may be hard for you to hear, but yes. You’re scattered right now, Michael. You’re going a million miles an hour in all different directions, and you’re not doing what I’ve clearly asked you to do. You had concern about whether you were truly hearing from me. I answered that concern with asking you to focus your energy on loading your old entries into BoW. There’s information there you need to review – there’s purpose behind the task. It’s not menial, it’s foundational.I’m so sorry, Lord. I will take the journal creation feature down. Now that I’ve put so much energy into it, I’ll likely want to load in all my entries faster so I can get back to making progress on the ministry.Michael, slow down! This is not a race. You need to stop for a second and simply accept what I am asking you to do. What I am asking you to do has merit, in and of itself, toward my plan.I understand. I’m sorry. I trust you, Lord. This is not my ministry, it’s yours. I need to remember that more consistently, it appears.What you’re doing is noble, and the progress you’ve made is good, but your intent is wrong.I don’t understand…Your intent is on the progress. You keep thinking, “what can I do now” or “what’s next” or “what things need to be prioritized for the future”. What you should be thinking is “what has my Lord asked me to do”, no more, no less.You’re right, of course. You made it clear what you wanted me to do, and I have not focused on that task. I have instead focused on tasks that seemed more fun, more rewarding, or more productive from my perspective. I neglected your call, and now I’ve likely run the risk of heading in a direction, wasting time on things, that you did not intend.Michael, like I said, your work represents good progress. There are positive qualities to the site being where it is today. But I want you to finish the task I’ve given you, and you will have a new perspective on things that will be of great value as we continue down this path.Yes, Lord. I will do what you ask right now. Thank you.Later…
Lord Jesus, I had a thought that I wanted to run by you first. Would it be ok to leave the feature up that allowed people to sign up for a journal, as long as I tell them that the site is in BETA right now? Tell them that it works, but they need to be familiar with WordPress at this time and be willing to provide ongoing feedback about the site?Michael, why do you want people to sign up?Because this is my dream, my mission, what I feel you are calling me toward.I am calling you toward this, but why is it your dream?It’s my dream because I had asked you for a long time to reveal to me how you wanted to use my life, and I heard that this was the answer. I want people to sign up because I want them to grow closer to you.Are you sure that’s the only reason? I’ll give you a hint, it’s not.Ok… I think I’m sensing that the other reason is to attain a sense of accomplishment, isn’t it…Yes, Michael. Let me be clear – this will not be your accomplishment, it will be mine. In order for this site to have true power in my name, you MUST rest its success or its failure in my hands. Trust me, I can make anything successful that I want to, despite your shortcomings.Ok, Lord. I understand. So the answer to my question is no?Michael, I do not want you distracted from your task right now. So the answer is no. Thank you for checking with me. It shows respect and trust.Thank you Lord. -
I am Dirt
Posted on October 21st, 2010 No commentsLord, Jesus, I call on your name to be with me now in my prayer and contemplation of you.Earlier today, I had thoughts about the nature of my communion with you, and how it relates to the analogy of the aspects of a plant’s life cycle that is referred to a number of times in your Word (fruit, vine and branches, good soil, harvest, etc.). I am going to get my thoughts down on paper and I ask and invite you to guide my thinking and writing.I am the soil. The plant is an analogy of our relationship. That relationship is only possible through your son, Jesus Christ, who made that relationship possible by dying on the cross so that my sins could be forgiven. Christ can be viewed as the ‘seed’ that is planted within me, out of which our relationship grows.Plants grow to their potential within the proper conditions and seems to be able to be broken into four stages. I will try to outline my thoughts on how those conditions portray aspects of our relationship within this analogy – please guide me, Lord Jesus.Soil cultivation
Healthy plants start with good soil. The soil must be the right consistency in order for the plant to take strong root and it must contain the right amounts of the right nutrients based on the type of plant.
In terms of a relationship with Christ, the person’s heart (soil) must be one of genuine humility and repentance. Do not be afraid of the word repentance; it simply means that you are decisively turning your back on sin and choosing a relationship with your Creator and Savior, over the temporary and false pleasures of the world (sin).
Our Heavenly Father will cultivate your heart if you let Him. Do not harden your heart against Him and He will continue to work with the soil of your heart in preparation for Christ.
The right nutrients may be the resources that the person has available to them as they take root in their relationship with Christ. There are many distractions (weeds) in the world, that have potential to choke out and cause a person’s relationship with Christ to whither. Just as an unkempt garden is one of weeds, so is an unkempt life one of sin and spiritual trouble. The right resources (access to God’s word, a church body, Biblical instruction, etc) can make all the difference in that person keeping their soil clean for the Father’s plan to unfold.
Planting
When the soil is cultivated, the seed must be selected and placed into the soil. The selection of the seed will determine the type of fruit you will harvest. If you do not actually select the seed, and instead let any seed fall on to your soil, you will not get the fruit you intend.
The only truly good fruit of the spirit comes from the seed of Christ. Once the person has a humble heart and repents of their sin (the choices, actions or non-actions, that have come in the way of their relationship with Christ), the next step is to choose the right seed (Christ) and ask the Father to plant Him within you (come into your heart). The Bible calls this process Justification.
Growth
The plant grows from a partnership / relationship between the inherent properties of the seed and the conditions around the seed: the right amounts of water, sun, pest control, weeding, pruning and time.
The properties of the ‘seed’ of Christ are perfect. Under optimal conditions, His seed would produce Himself through you (the soil). That is why, through the process of growth, you become more and more perfect, as He becomes more and more apparent as the controlling force in your life.
Growth in your relationship with Christ involves Bible study, worship, prayer, and obedience. Each of these is vital to the health of your relationship with Christ. Just as a plant cannot grow with sun but no water, your relationship with Christ will not grow as it is supposed to with Bible study and no prayer, or prayer but no worship, etc.
With true ‘planting’ of Christ, based on true humility and repentance, you will thirst to know Him. You can know Him through Bible study (going to Church once per week is not enough), worship, and prayer. As you get to know Christ, you will naturally become more like Him. The Bible calls this process Sanctification.
Obedience is the process of weeding the influence of the world from your life. You will not likely be able to avoid the weeds entirely, so Christ is your strength to recognize the weeds for what they are, so that you may pluck them out. Obedience starts with loving God enough to hate sin enough to consistently repent of it. You won’t be perfect, but God truly sees your heart and will bless true repentance. Obedience then grows into trusting God enough to ask Him what His will is for your life – and then actually listening and obeying. Obeying is a strong word – think of it as following the guidance of the wisest person you will ever know (He knows past, present, and future), and that person loves you more than any other person can love any other person (He created you to have relationship with Him, and He had His son die on a wooden cross to make it possible despite your consistent disrespect and disregard for Him before you were truly saved).
Do not be afraid of pruning – it is actually the key to a better yield of fruit. The Father will prune you, you can be sure of that. How you respond to that pruning, and the timing of your response, will determine how quickly you go from pruning back to growth. A plant does not look at a pruned branch and give up – it seeks to grow in new and more productive ways. You can trust that our Heavenly Father knows exactly when and how to prune you specifically to foster growth – and it’s all in the interest of a better relationship with Him, bearing fruit (glorifying Him), and fostering others relationship with Him and their fruit.
The best way to learn something is to write down your experience and re-read your notes from time to time. This process is seeking His face, it’s about learning who you really are meant to be.
Fruit
Fruit is the whole point. Fruit could refer to actual fruit or flower. This is why you plant and tend, for the beauty of the fruit. The beauty of the fruit glorifies the one who made it possible; the one who cultivated the soil, planted the right seeds, allowed for the right amount of sun and water, and provided opportunity for optimal growth.
The fruit is a natural result of the conditions around the plant; the plant doesn’t have to try to produce the fruit, it produces what it was supposed to produce since it was a seed.
The fruit of a plant also offers new life, as fruits contain seeds for new plants of its kind to fall to the ground around the plant (near or in soil that is already right for its kind), and new life may sprout and provide greater yield in the next season.
Spiritually, the same description applies. Your fruit as a Christian is apparent in how you affect those around you. If your relationship with Christ is blossoming, you will see the affect of Christ on those around you – your relationship with Him will be evidenced by those around you and their relationship with Him.
Do not focus on the fruit, as it will be a natural product of the relationship itself. If it feels forced, then you likely need to tend to other things (see the first 3 stages above).
The fruit of your life glorifies God. The Bible calls this Glorification.
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Evil Exposed
Posted on October 16th, 2010 No commentsLord, I come to you tonight without any agenda, without any expectation other than hearing your voice because I feel you calling to me and so I want to respond. What would you have me hear; what would you have me learn? -
Family Issues
Posted on October 11th, 2010 No commentsLord, I seek your wisdom and understanding in a matter. My father and sister are not on good terms, and it’s turning out that there is a lot surfacing with regard to my own relationship with my father. First of all, I ask whether I have handled the recent communication with my father in a way that pleases you. -
Many Paths to Heaven – cont
Posted on October 11th, 2010 No commentsLord, I come before you again, in search of your face and your wisdom. I pray that you would share your truth on this matter.Michael, we have so much else to talk about. Why this, and now?I suppose because it’s in a “pending” status, to be completed. You know that it causes me anxiety to have tasks left uncompleted.Yes Michael, and that is part of your path of growth. I have an answer for you on this, but not now. You need to leave this in a “pending” status, until you address what is more pressing for you in your life, right now.Ok, Lord.[To be continued…]