Boredom

Boredom is the direct result of selfishness.

Forgiveness

Lord Jesus. Thank you for your influence in my life. Thank you for revealing how my heart must be conditioned in order to grow closer in communion with you. I am truly humbled by your grace, mercy and love, and I pray that you provide me the strength and courage to be immediately and consistently obedient in all that you ask for me to do.

Lord Jesus. I couldn’t sleep any longer this morning. My dreams were haunting me. Was that your influence?

Michael, any time you experience something that you perceive to be negative or burdensome, and you feel called to bring it to me for inspection, I am involved.

Is it accurate to call the dreams haunting?

In a way, yes. They haunt you in your dreams, but your dreams are only one manifestation of a deeper issue. When you harbor resentment, you lock negative energies inside of you. Those negative energies attract more negative energy, and will surface from time to time until they are resolved or until they kill you. In a way, you can consider them to be spiritually evil.

So I need resolution of these issues. And I presume that I resolve them through forgiveness. Is that correct?

Yes, Michael.

Just speaking honestly, from the heart, I suppose I’m still somewhat afraid of that word, forgiveness. It feels like if I don’t hold the person accountable for their wrong-doing, then no one will, and they need to be held accountable.

Thank you for your honesty. This is a big hurdle for you right now in the growth of our communion. I want to help you through this.

I know you want me to forgive, but I pray that you would help me understand the reason behind forgiveness. I feel that once I truly understand forgiveness, I’ll be much more forgiving.

I’m here to help you through this. There are elements of forgiveness that you can rationally understand, and there are elements that you cannot. Can you accept this?

Yes, I suppose so. I’d rather understand all of it, but at least if I could understand more, then I would feel more comfortable with letting go.

Michael, there are spiritual components to your natural life that you cannot understand. Your mental facilities are not designed to understand them. It’s not that you are built deficiently, you’re not. The human being is a perfect creation, for it’s purpose.

We’ll need to talk about that again sometime. But I really would like to stay on the forgiveness topic.

Michael, we are on the forgiveness topic. I’m trying to help you understand that there are some things in your life that you will need to accept by faith – but not blind faith. I will offer you enough truth, so that if you truly receive with love and trust, you will not be able to turn your back on it. But there will still be elements of the whole truth which you will not be satisfied with your understanding of. I give you enough information for you to accept the rest of what I’m offering you, by faith.

I understand. I accept that I will be given enough information to accept the rest on faith.

Good. That’s a huge step for some – even insurmountable. Your acceptance shows trust – trust that has been built so far in our communion. That trust is the fruit of our communion.

I understand. So what about forgiveness. It seems like a lot is being said without any light being provided yet.

I am sharing what is important for the growth in our communion. Do not be impatient. Trust in my approach. Trust me when I say that there is little I want more from you right now than an understanding and faith in forgiveness.

I understand Lord. I trust your approach.

So, Michael, you know you have been forgiven, right?

Yes, Lord. My acceptance of your forgiveness is what made this relationship possible.

Yes, but more accurately, the acceptance of my forgiveness conditioned your heart in a way that made this relationship possible. The key is the condition of your heart.

So, are you saying that there are rules / laws that govern the condition of the heart? And that my ‘ability’ to have communion with you depends on my ‘ability’ to recognize, accept and act in accordance with (obey) those laws.

That’s a good observation. Michael, there are laws governing the world all around you. ‘Laws’ in this sense can be understood as conditions for which abiding by the law will result in harmony, and the violation or transgression of the law will result in disharmony. Harmony and disharmony could mean many things. It could mean that you stay safe from falling to your death by violating the (natural) law of gravity. It could also mean that you suffer in perceivable or imperceivable ways for violating the (spiritual) law of forgiveness.

I understand. So I am causing myself suffering for the mere act of violating a spiritual condition for harmony (law). Whether I know the law is there or not, or whether I agree with the law or not, does not matter in the sense that the law still presides and will govern my state of (natural or spiritual) harmony. Is that correct?

Yes, Michael. Keep in mind that when you say “spiritual harmony”, you are talking directly about your communion, your unity, with me.

I understand. So now that I understand that laws exist and my harmony depends on recognizing they exist and obeying their conditions, will you help me understand the conditions of forgiveness?

What you are considering to be the “law of forgiveness” is not really what it is we’re talking about. Forgiveness is a condition of the law, it’s not the law.

So what is the law?

Are you ready for it?

Only you know that.

Good answer! You are ready for it, but it will come as shockingly simple, so I want you to be prepared to accept it for what it is.

Ok…

Peace. The condition of forgiveness allows you to conform to the law of peace.

Oh … my … God. Lord, I am sitting here is such awe of you. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt such clarity before in my life. The way you led me up to that answer (with absolutely no foresight into where it was heading), and the way that it came to mind, I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that this dialog is real. Thank you for revealing yourself to me and putting up with all my doubt.

Michael, thank you for staying persistent. You doubted, yet you continued to persist. You were and are seeking communion with me. I want nothing more.

So, the law of peace. I get the sense that forgiveness is simply one aspect, one condition, of that law. Is this correct?

Yes, Michael, but it’s a critical one. It’s the first one. And it’s exceptionally difficult for some to abide by. Pride is the issue. Your pride gets in the way of your peace. You cannot have peace with pride. It doesn’t fit the conditions of the law.

Lord, how to I release my pride and forgive. I want peace, I want spiritual harmony and greater communion with you. Please teach me how to forgive.

The next words were revealed one at a time. I couldn’t perceive the whole though until each word had been written.

First, let go of the need to control others. Your need for control is what is preventing you from realizing true peace and joy.

How do I release the need to control others?

Realize that it’s not possible.

Ok, that’s obvious. So why do I still seek control of others if I already know it’s not possible?

That’s not the right question, Michael.

What is the right question?

You should be asking “How do I control others?”

I don’t understand…

By asking the antithetical question, you arrive at true understanding for why it’s not possible.

Ok… so… How do I control others?

Answer it yourself and come to me for clarity for each answer.

These answers are probably going to come out sounding completely ridiculous, but I will just try to express what may be in my heart.

Foolish Answer #1:  I control others by the way I react to what they say or do.

So you think that what you think matters that much to people? Do you realize how many people the people in your life interact with on a daily basis? If they cared that much about what each person thought about them, they would never have their own life. They would be paralyzed in fear of judgement.

Again, when I write these things, they are not what I rationally think, but I’m trying to root out irrational heart condition.

Foolish Answer #2:  People don’t need to be concerned with what everyone thinks about them, just what I think about them, because I am superior in some way – intellectually, morally, spiritually, or some other way that merits more consideration of my perception than others. They need my help.

Even if you were superior in any of those ways, do you think that everyone you come across would recognize that? Even if it were true, the only reason it would be true is because I gave you talents or wisdom. So, you owe your “superiority” to me – it’s not yours to claim.

Lord, I can’t think of any more answers to “How do I control others?”

Michael, you don’t need to. It’s shockingly simple when you are really honest about what’s in your heart – as foolish as it sounds when you actually put it into words.

I still feel like there’s more that I’m not rooting out. Please help me root out more answers to “How do I control others?”

Michael, that’s the problem. There aren’t any good answers, because you don’t control others. You can’t.

I know, but I’m trying to root out how my heart thinks I can control others. Is there more inside of me?

It all boils down to what you already wrote. You think you control others by how you react to what they do. This could be a reaction to what they already did, or it could be the implementation and communication of some planned reaction (consequence) to what they could do.

Ok.

…

So what now?

Now you accept that you cannot control others. You are one of hundreds of influences in each person’s life. What you think matters very little to most of them. The few that it does matter what you think will think of you less and less the more you try to exert control over them.

So, it boils down to: I can’t, and I don’t want to.

Yes, Michael.

So what do I do once I’ve accepted that I do not want to control other people and I’ve let go of my need to do so?

Don’t unduly hang on to the word ‘forgiveness’. In perfect harmony, you would not feel any need to control others. You may try to influence others, but control is not possible, nor desired. Without the desire for control, the second step is acceptance. You must accept that other people are not only ‘not perfect’, but that they are seriously flawed and damaged, some physically and/or intellectually, but most emotionally and spiritually. When you see others the way I see them, you recognize their behavior for what it truly is – a cry for help. These people need help, most need salvation, and they don’t even know it. It’s deeply saddening.

So what do I do about it?

You do whatever you can to bring them to me. When someone cuts you off while you’re driving, recognize that for what it is: they are obviously not in harmony, in communion with me. They may harbor tremendous angst and impatience and/or pride, all of which are obvious signs that they are not seeking me. Recognize this, and you will realize that instead of needing to ‘get even’ or pass judgement or bring them to justice, they need to be brought to me. Only I can bring about true, lasting change.

So instead of trying to control them with my reactions, I pity them for their spiritual immaturity?

Well, don’t you pity them? Look up the word.

Pity (per dictionary.com):
Sympathetic or kindly sorrow evoked by the suffering, distress, or misfortune of another, often leading one to give relief or aid or to show mercy

In that context, I do pity them. I am sympathetic to their condition because I’ve been there. I do feel a sense of kindly sorrow because I know that apart from you, they will suffer, be distressed and be cut off from blessing. I suppose the next step is exactly what you said, and what’s also in the definition – give relief, aid, and mercy.

You’ve got it Michael. Now it’s time to practice it.

But what about forgiveness?

Forgiveness is after the fact. Forgiveness is nothing more than the releasing of control over another person. When you have harbored resentment for a person, you have psychologically attempted to control them in your mind. If you pitied them to begin with, instead of attempted to control them, there would be no need for forgiving them. When I speak of forgiving others in the Bible, I am speaking of letting go of the need for control. If someone wrongs you, you immediately forgive them. You don’t actually forgive someone after years of resentment – you simply let go of the need to psychologically harbor control over them.

So how does this all fit into the law of peace and the condition of forgiveness?

Forgiveness, as I said, is at the time of infraction – it’s immediate. Your forgiveness demonstrates your understanding of the principles discussed above, and is the practical way to demonstrate that you do not seek control over them, and that you leave the judgement of their behavior to me. Their judgement (as is yours) is dependent upon laws as well. But the law of my judgement is dependent upon the nature of the heart, of which behavior is symptomatic of, but not the complete story. You cannot know the complete story behind a person’s behavior, so this is the part that you must trust me in.

I trust you Lord. I know that I do not know people’s hearts, and only you do. I trust that your judgement is perfect. I let go of my need to control others, or to pass judgement upon them. Thank you for your insight and wisdom. I pray that you would be with me in the times when I may put it to use.

Let’s talk again about this soon.

Ok, Lord.

Reverence versus Humility

As I was reading Prayer today, I was struck with a sense that God’s relationship with us may be far more personal, in a way that is much more human, than we realize.  Mankind has almost exclusively considered God in a very formal and reverent way.  He deserves our reverence, but I wonder whether He’d prefer a more personal expression of our love.

Specifically, I’m speaking about the notion that God prompts and looks for an element of amusement in His relationship with us.  Does He smile at us in amusement?  As a father, I smile at my children’s immaturity and understand that to try to teach them something beyond their grasp is not effective, so I smile.

But is it amusement or is it really something else?  Am I amused by their immaturity?  Or am I smiling in adoration and love and accepting that they have much to learn, much growing to do?  I suppose it’s more the latter, I look at them with adoration and accept their current stage of growth.  I don’t laugh at them in amusement, or if I do, I end up feeling guilty for it.

Father, is there any truth to this?

Michael, I do adore you.  And yes, I do accept your current stage of growth, but am always providing guidance into your next steps of spiritual maturation.

Do I amuse you in my immaturity or in my mistakes due to immaturity?

It is not amusing.  It is actually saddening.  Your immaturity is due to the world’s influence and control over your heart.  That is not amusing.  But you are right in one thing.  I do seek to have a personal relationship with you in a way that is far more intimate than most people realize.  Most of the time, the nature of formal reverence actually gets in the way of intimacy in my relationship with people, so formal reverence is not something I desire.  What I desire is humility.  Formal reverence is a form of humility, but if it’s not recognized for what its purpose is, then it becomes the focus, rather than our relationship, and so it gets in the way, and it is undesirable.

I think I understand.  That is very enlightening.  I hope to continue this later tonight when I’m not distracted.  Thank you Lord.

[To be continued…]

Treading on Dangerous Ground

Getting Back on God’s Track

Comfort and Guidance

Checking in with the Lord

Later, as I was reviewing my old entries…

Another Reconfirmation on BoW Next Steps

Continued from this entry