An ordinary guy on a supernatural journey.
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  • Dad

    Posted on December 31st, 2010 michael No comments

    Dad,

    You’ll never read this, or at least not in the near future, because you don’t care enough to actually read my deepest thoughts on this blog.  I invite you in, and you show surface interest, and then nothing.  Plus, I’ve updated the site to disallow public snooping.  Good call…

    Anyway, this is my venting and learning time.  I pray that God…

    Wait…

    No…

    This is not my venting time.  This is the time when I call out to my Lord and Savior.

    Lord Jesus.  Thank you for speaking to me through your word earlier.  Thank you for directing me in my time of need to Romans 8:28. You know my pain.  You know my situation. I cannot believe the hate in my father toward me. Where does this come from?

    Sin, Michael.

    My sin or his?

    Both, Michael. You are both sinners. Sin is the root of all evil.

    Did I handle myself well in the exchange of emails, Lord?

    I was with you, Michael. You did well by allowing me to shine through. You do not need to concern yourself with your father’s behavior. The passage I led you to is all you need to hang on to at this time.

    Thank you Lord.

    Alcohol will not solve your problems, Michael.

    I know. I don’t think I’m looking for it to. It is a means to bear the pain.

    Pain is not necessarily a bad thing. Dulling pain allows it to continue.

    But it’s better than some alternatives isn’t it?

    Yes, but you are better than this, you are greater than escape.

    Lord, I thank you for being with me, and I thank you for your council. What do I need to do next.

    Michael, don’t steer away from this. Throw out your cup, right now.

    This is a moment of truth, Michael.

    Ok.

    Good, now throw out other temptation.

    Seriously?

    Yes.

    Ok, Done.

  • Greater Communion

    Posted on December 26th, 2010 michael No comments

    Dear Lord.  I am before you.  I don’t expect anything from you, but I know that you love me and trust that you are hear with me, you hear me calling out to you, and that you will respond.

    Michael, I hear you always.  The question is, are you hearing me?

    I understand Lord.  Are you pleased with where I am in “my walk”?

    Michael, that question makes no sense.

    Ok… please help me understand why it doesn’t make sense and what the correct perspective is.  I’m here for your guidance and wisdom.

    It doesn’t make sense because our relationship has nothing to do with effort.  “Your walk” insinuates that our relationship is somehow on your terms.  It’s as if your walk…

    Michael, you’re blocking me out with your focus on the inconsequential.  You’re focusing on grammar of what you’re hearing from me, when you should be paying attention to what I’m telling you.  You know that I speak to you in a familiar style.  I speak to you the way that you speak with your most intimate relationships.  It’s not all “lovey dovey”, but it’s familiar.  Stop dwelling on the minutia.

    Ok, Lord.  Please continue.

    It’s as if your walk were something that should be in a certain state or condition, but may or may not be – as if it could be better or worse than some arbitrary position.  Or worse, as if there were an element of competition.

    Michael, when referring to our relationship, refer to it as our relationship.  No more, no less.

    Understood.  Lord, are you pleased with the state of our relationship?

    Michael, our relationship is, and always be something I cherish.  Regardless of anything you do or don’t do, I love you – and you can trust in that.  Now, do I long for greater communion?  Of course.  Do I offer more power through your life based on greater communion?  Yes, I do.

    How do we have greater communion?

    That is the right question, Michael.  The obvious answer is by spending time together.  But you and I both know that is not enough.  Spending time with someone doesn’t build relationship.  For example, sitting on the couch next to your wife, watching TV together does not build relationship.  You may laugh together, or share comments about what you’re experiencing together, but that is a symptom of, or recipe for, a hollow relationship.

    Now, with you and I, our relationship is similar in nature.  Many people will tell you to simply read the Bible to spend time with me.  There is some truth to that, but only because there’s always something new to learn about me.  And by learning more about me, you learn to fear and love me.  This is good.  But for those who already fear and love me, more is required in order to experience true communion with me.

    I know you can’t be telling me to not read the Bible.

    I’m not.  Reading the Bible – or really, knowing the spirit of the Bible – is foundational to accepting me as your Savior.  Without the Bible, you would be forced to trust based on blind faith, which is not what I ask for.  There are lots of things you could believe in on blind faith that will lead you to ruin.  I provide evidence, upon which faith can be built.

    Once you have that foundation, our relationship can be built upon it.

    How do we do that?

    What you’re doing is an excellent approach.  Communion begins with communication.  First it starts with a person communicating to me.  Later, it becomes the person communicating with me.  As you know, a person gets far more out of conversation by listening than by talking.  You bless me by opening yourself to my guidance and wisdom, and by your obedience.

    So what I want is for you to open yourself to me more frequently, and for you to obey more readily.

    I understand Lord.  What does my obedience say about our relationship?

    Michael, you have and are showing tremendous trust in your obedience.  This demonstrates the nature of our communion.  This is healthy and will foster growth in our relationship.  However, this growth could be escalated, even exponentially, based upon your choosing me over distraction.

    I know I have been distracted.  It’s amazing how much distraction surrounds a day that’s supposed to be devoted to you.

    It’s not “supposed to be” anything, Michael.  I never asked anyone to celebrate my birthday – that is a silly thing to celebrate.  Celebrate my resurrection, but not my birthday.  Celebrate your “rebirth” rather than your physical birth.

    That sounds like a cool feature of the website.

    Perhaps.  It wouldn’t hurt.

    Michael, check in with me tomorrow.  We have a lot to talk about.

    Ok, Lord.  Thank you.

  • Returning again

    Posted on December 20th, 2010 michael No comments

    Lord Jesus.  Wow, 10 days since we last spoke.. no.. since I last wrote in my journal.  What’s wrong with me?

    Michael, you know that’s the wrong question.

    Then what is the right question.  I’m sorry, Lord.  Am I being cavalier or something?  I don’t know what’s going on.  I’m just so frustrated with my lack of consistency.  Where is it coming from?

    You know where it’s coming from.

    Distraction.

    Yes, Michael.  Distraction.  Distraction into things you are good at are still distraction.  You have a purpose.  I am calling you in a specific, planned, direction.  Trust me and you will be blessed.

    Does my work on business planning for BoW count?

    Yes, Michael.  It “counts”, but doesn’t actually count for anything.  I do want consistency in our communion.  You hear me calling.  Your focus is simply elsewhere.

    What can I learn from this, Lord?

    That Satan is very deceptive.  And he’s vying for your attention – all the time.  You’re on the brink of something big, in my name.  He wants your mind as far away from that as possible.  He’ll start with a hairline fracture in our communion – and that’s all he needs sometimes.  Communion with me, in that analogy, heals the fractures.  That’s why consistency is so important.

    That makes a lot of sense.  So, can I avoid the fractures?

    Not completely.  You can subject yourself to his influence less with certain decisions, but he has many ways into your focus.  The conditions are simply set such that you and I need constant communion in order to protect yourself from him.

    I understand.  Thank you.  How is the direction I’m going with BoW?  Are you pleased?

    I am pleased, but I still want focus on the teaching pages.  Those pages have purpose, Michael, whether you know what that purpose is right now or not.  You simply need to trust me.

    Ok, Lord.  I do trust you.  I pray that my focus has demonstrated that.  Well, obviously not my recent lack of focus, but my prior absolute focus.

    Michael, you were getting away from communion there a bit.  Your mind started drifting toward a reader’s impressions rather than just being honest with me.

    I’m sorry.  Thank you for your correction.  Is there anything you want to call my attention to?

    Your sleeping.

    Ok.  This is good to address.  So, you know I’ve read that it’s possible to get higher quality sleep in more but shorter overall lengths of time – in essence, napping 20 minutes once, twice, or even up to 6 times in a day can cut down on overall sleep requirements.  That would be amazing to actually get more time in the day.

    What value is more time in the day?

    I can get more done.

    Or you could more quickly veer in distraction.

    That’s true… What do you want for me to do?

    Start with one ‘nap’.  That’s a fine approach.  The body is indeed capable of many things of which you are not aware.  Your body doesn’t absolutely require what you think it requires.  It’s built to last, it’s built to thrive.

    I know… I just don’t want to subvert anything just on the words of some book.

    The book has insight, Michael.  There is truth there.  Start with one ‘nap’ – that’s not going to hurt you – be consistent and determine whether it’s in fact shortening your night sleep.

    So it could, but may not?

    It depends on you, Michael.  Some people ‘nap’ and sleep more.  Some people ‘nap’ and are awake more.  It’s not the ‘nap’ so much as the intent behind the ‘nap’.  You do have the right spoken intent, but your experience will present you with the fruit of your heart’s intent.

    Ok.  I’ll try it and check back with you. Is there anything else you want to call to attention or let me know about?

    Keep me in the forefront of this ‘holiday’.  Use this time to call your family’s attention to me, not to a fictional character and presents.  Presents end up in the trash.  Blessings build one upon another, until a life exudes my character and spirit.  You want that for your children.

    Yes, Lord, I do.  I pray that you would continue to remind me throughout the days to keep the focus on you.  It truly is a distracting time.

    Thank you for your wisdom and direction.  I love you, Lord.

    I love you, Michael.

  • Seeking Wisdom and Guidance on BoW

    Posted on December 9th, 2010 michael No comments

    [This is a transcription of an audio recorded entry]

    Lord, Jesus, I come to you today in seeking of your wisdom and guidance. As you know, I was doing some reading on the internet last night, and I came across the journaling of Mark Roberts, who’s my pastor back in my teenage years, at Irvine Presbyterian Church. To sum it up, I just feel really… I guess I would say discouraged and just basically unworthy and unqualified for what I feel you are calling me in to. The scholarship that is available out there is so overwhelming. Even just looking at Mark’s work… he’s obviously devoted his life to this and has the time… has made the time to properly study and develop these ideas that he writes about. They’re lengthy and they’re well developed… I just feel like ‘who am I to even be venturing into this area when I’m doing it on such a part-time basis and I don’t have any background in this. I didn’t go to seminary… who am I that anyone is going to trust anything that I say or lend any merit or any credibility to what I write on the site. I could just really use your comfort and guidance and wisdom on this.

    Michael… Beginning of Wisdom is the apt name for what you are doing. You are setting a foundation. You are not diving deep into specific topics like some of these other Bible scholars do. That’s not my intent for you. My intent for you is to set a proper foundation for others to recognize and realize and pursue further study of. The truths that you lay out on the site are not, by any means, the whole truth. There’s much more truth and these scholars that you compare yourself to are people who I’ve called to take it to the next level, so to speak.

    Lord, I suppose that makes sense. So, one question I have is… the teaching material that I’m writing, is it in the right format? Would it be better for it to be in a blog form, where people can comment on it? Should it be my personal writing versus Beginning of Wisdom’s writing?

    No, Michael. The writing needs to be from the perspective of Beginning of Wisdom. As I said, that ministry is meant to represent the beginning of wisdom. Fear of me is the beginning of wisdom, and you’re providing a baseline of understanding… a correct and true baseline of understanding for people to then launch from in their own studies and their own intimate prayer time with me. Keep in mind, however, that scholarship is not the point, it’s not the goal. It doesn’t matter how much you know about me; it matters that you know me, and that I know you. The relationship is what matters. The scholarship path can easily become a distraction in and of itself, even though it is done “in my name”, and is a path that I am protecting you from.

    Lord, so how do I know when to stop? How do I know how far to take the teaching material?

    Michael, you have the structure that I want for you in the teaching material right now. I do not mean for it to get any more extensive or exhaustive than the structure that you solidified last night. So what I want you to do is build out that structure, keeping in mind that this material is meant to be a launch pad for people’s own intimate study and prayer with me.

    Thank you Lord.

  • Comfort and Guidance on BoW

    Posted on December 7th, 2010 michael No comments

    Lord Jesus, you know why I’m here.

    Yes, I do, but do you?

    Well, maybe I should stop right there, then. I admit that you know far more about me than I do. You know infinitely more about where my life is headed than I do. What am I looking for? Lord, I submit to you for your comfort and guidance.

    Michael, you are not special, in the sense that others are like you in many ways, many ways that you do not expect or realize.

    What do you mean? What specifically is this in reference to?

    Other people want communion with me more than anything. They want to feel that they are truly connected with their Creator, their Lord and Savior, but they don’t know how to get there. There is so much mis-information out there, and so many ‘perspectives’ of the truth, that it’s simply exhausting and quite confusing. These people need a way to approach me and need to be taught to approach me intimately.

    The sad truth is that most people who are redeemed do not experience the restoration of the relationship with me. Your teaching will help solve that. I want relationship more than anything. The redemption wasn’t to give people a free pass because I love them, it was so that we could share an intimate loving relationship.

    The website you are working on will bring awareness and will set example to others on how to approach me.

    So, I have to address this, what about Brandon’s feedback yesterday. The words that came out of my mouth were that his feedback did not discourage me because I have faith in you and the direction I believe I have received from you. And that is what I would say again if I were talking with him now. But I have sensed that this is not entirely true. Although I want to believe this way and want to believe this strongly, I can feel the turmoil within.

    [removed content from me intended for a potential reader]

    Michael, please do not address your readers in these prayers.

    Ok, Lord.

    Michael, address me only. This is our intimate time. Do not qualify our communion with anyone.

    I was just trying to encourage more feedback, or at least not discourage it because it causes me to work through issues with you.

    I know, but just like you just did, you can address me with that information, and keep this a one-on-one dialog.

    Understood. I accept your guidance on Brandon’s feedback.

    Michael, you are right to expect my guidance and direction. That is the nature of our relationship, and the nature of the relationship that is available to everyone else. Brandon’s feedback, as you know, is valid. There is also purpose in the feedback for you right now.

    What is that purpose, Lord?

    The purpose is to create an issue for you to trust me with.

    So how do I trust you with this?

    That’s the wrong question.

    How do I protect against people misusing the website?

    You don’t. And that’s also the wrong question.

    How do I protect people from being led astray?

    There you go Michael. Your role is as a protector in this issue. Not a preventer. You will not be able to prevent anything. You can teach, encourage, motivate, inspire, and model, but not prevent.

    Assuming that people will use the site to post content for others to read that does not come from me, this presents a real problem. Let’s assume that the enemy himself inspires a person’s writing and they present the information as coming from me.

    Ok…

    The question becomes, how do you protect innocent minds and hearts from accepting false teachings? Your prior question was the right direction, but this question is more pertinent.

    What’s the difference?

    Lay the questions side by side.

    How do I protect people from being led astray?
    How do you protect innocent minds and hearts from accepting false teachings?

    I don’t see the difference.

    The difference is in the perspective.

    I still don’t get it, but I expect that you will make this make sense, as you always do, and will become another example that your wisdom is shining through these prayer sessions.

    What answers would you get to the first question?

    Oh, is the difference in the word astray?

    Yes Michael. Keep going.

    ‘Astray’ is a matter of perspective. ‘False teachings’ are not. A teaching is either true or false. ‘Astray’ depends on what the intended target is?

    Close.

    This is so frustrating when you lead me like this, but I realize why you do it. This becomes greater evidence that our relationship is real, doesn’t it?

    Yes, Michael, but it’s also the most effective way to teach you what you need to know.

    So you want me to try to figure out what the remaining piece of difference between the two questions is?

    Yes, Michael.

    Does it have to do with your use of the words hearts and minds?

    Yes, Michael.

    Oh, do I need to appeal to both?

    Yes. That’s it. You must appeal to both the mind and the heart when protecting my children from potentially false teaching.

    So how do I do that?

    The mind can be appealed with a call to study of my word. The heart can be appealed with a call to prayer.

    Is the mind a doorway to the heart?

    No, but it can be a gatekeeper. It’s more like a doorway keeping the heart from having its influence on your life. Your heart knows truth, my truth, when it hears it, and when it is not clouded by selfish motive (pride). My truth can only be revealed to a person when the mind is not fighting against it. The Bible appeals to the mind and heart, but once the heart has experienced connection with me, personal communion is the more personal method. Obviously it takes experience to get to the point where you know what to trust is truly from me.

    Ok, so how do I put this to use? If someone is someone’s prayer journal entries, and using your assumption that the enemy is speaking to them and they are representing that it’s you, and the reader doesn’t have any basis for knowing whether the information is pertinent to them, or representative of your larger truth, how do I protect their innocent mind and heart form potentially being led astray.

    You know the answer already.

    Ok, so here’s my strategy:

    • The commenting feature needs an introduction. Something that calls people toward a mentoring action, either for correction or for building credibility for any ideas presented in the entry.
    • The sidebar needs to have some disclaimer information that scrolls with the screen so that it’s always visible, that calls the reader’s mind and heart to check the validity of the claims.

    I get the sense, though, that I cannot protect people who will not heed the call to do their due diligence before accepting false teaching.

    That is a good plan, and also true what you said at the end. It’s not your responsibility to keep the content true to my word, or to keep people safe from false teaching. False teaching pervades the world in many ways, this website does not and can not ensure that false teaching won’t make its way into it. However, false teaching can be reproved, based on the plan you outlined above. That’s part of the plan. That dialog, while it may get somewhat heated at times, is healthy and part of the whole point.

    Ok. Is there anything you would add to the plan?

    Just that:

    • You should include some information within the signup process that posts will include this disclaimer
    • Include that the website doesn’t condone or support the claims of its independent authors
    • Force people to register in order to read others content
    • Provide users with a terms of service that includes consideration for what we’ve discussed here. This TOS should not be an automatic check box type of thing

    Understood. Should this be a high priority?

    From a technical perspective, yes. But I still want you to focus on your teaching material. You are making good progress in this area, and there’s more to develop before I want you getting more heavy into the technical stuff.

    Ok, Lord. Thank you again for your wisdom and guidance.

  • Reconnecting

    Posted on December 5th, 2010 michael No comments

    Lord Jesus, I can’t believe it’s been so long since my last entry. I am sorry that I haven’t come to you sooner.

    Michael, you have come to me in small ways, but I too am disappointed that it’s been so long. It doesn’t need to be a horrible thing, though. You are coming to me now. Your heart is right – you have felt a longing to reconnect with me. That shows me your heart. The thing I want to tell you, though is that you don’t need to be sitting in front of your computer to have dialog with me.

    I know, Lord. I just feel like I want to be able to record what insight you provide. I feel like if we talk and I don’t record it, that I won’t remember it later and the wisdom or direction will be lost.

    In doing so, you are actually turning your back on me.

    Wow, you’re right. I have been basically turning my attention away from you because “it’s not the right time”. Has this journal become a burden to our relationship?

    Not a burden. It is a wonderful tool, as you already know. But your prayer life – our communion – requires a larger perspective. This journal is a tool, it is not fully reflective of our relationship. It can’t be. If it were fully reflective of our relationship, you wouldn’t be able to leave your computer. You’d have to continue to record throughout the day. That’s not practical, and it is not what I want.

    What then is the best use of this journal?

    You know from your writing work that there is focused communion and there is moment-by-moment communion. I want both. I want you to allow me to influence you in in-depth and intimate discussion, but I also want you to allow me to guide your moment-by-moment decisions. I can’t do the latter if you’re always pushing me aside because you’re not in front of the computer to record it. Now, that doesn’t mean that your heart is not right – it is right.

    Your heart values our communion to the point that you don’t want to lose the opportunity to record a single moment. That’s very special to me. But as I said before, it’s simply not practical, and it’s not what I want. Learn to trust that I can impact your life in lasting ways even in the moment-by-moment communion and our relationship will grow much much stronger.

    Ok Lord. Thank you for pointing this out to me. Is this a reason why I have not journaled in so long? The act of postponing our communion, in effect, was like choosing to turn my heart away from you?

    I wouldn’t say you turned your heart away from me, but you definitely turned our ear away.

    I will pay close attention to this. I invite any and all communion with you Lord, whether or not I’m at my keyboard.

    Thank you Michael.

    I ask, Lord Jesus, whether the writing I have been doing is pleasing to you. Am I staying true to your word?

    Michael, you need to pay closer attention to my word in scripture, but yes, I am pleased with the product of your writing.

    Are you with me as I write?

    That’s obviously true, Michael, or you wouldn’t be writing on this topic.

    That’s true.. One thing I question is how should this learning material be offered?

    Free is a good start. The website format should give anyone the information that they need, without charge. You will be able to repackage the material for sale and the material will have been such a blessing to people that they will gladly pay you for other forms of delivery.

    Wow, I’m not used to you telling me how things will be. Is that a sure thing?

    Michael, from my perspective, it is an optimal and very realistic possibility. Your choices determine the path you take.

    So, I take it that my communion with you will determine how well my actual life experience lines up with what you consider to be optimal?

    That’s correct, Michael. Optimal might not always look and feel the way you’d like it to, but it is a relative term, dependent upon the existence of all other possibilities for you personally and your current state condition.

    I see.. I suppose that makes sense.

    It doesn’t need to make sense, Michael.

    That’s true.. I trust you.

    Lord Jesus, I am studying a series on BlueLetterBible.com (History and Authenticity of the Bible), in which the speaker has made it clear that you do not provide direct revelation today, and that any revelation is through scripture. Is that true?

    In a sense, it is true. But it’s also true that there is much regarding scripture that is: 1) not understood at all; and 2) not understood correctly by most. The enemy has been largely successful in seducing mankind, even when it comes to the correct understanding of my word. What our communion allows is for me to reveal truths from my word in a way that is practical and useful in your personal situation. It is true that if you feel you are receiving anything that contradicts my word, then it is not from me.

    So, your word is the final authority?

    Yes, but it is the living word. My word lives in you. Our communion allows me to provide guidance, according to my word, for your life.

    I understand. So this would not be classified as ‘revelation’ then? Not that I thought it was, but just as a distinction that the teacher has made.

    I’m not providing revelation, I’m providing guidance and blessing you with wisdom and grace.

    Thank you Lord. I feel like I should stop now. I want to get out of the habit of requiring these times to be of a certain length of time or words.

    That’s fine, Michael. Consistency is more important than quantity. I love you. Thank you for accepting my love and allowing me to work through you.

    Nothing gives me greater joy, Lord.