Employee issue

Dear Lord. Is there anything you want to weed out of my life? Any pruning?

Other than the obvious time sink you’ve gotten yourself hooked on again?

Funny…

No, it’s not funny. It’s quite serious.

Would limiting my time with it be acceptable?

It would be better. But you need to be consistent. Your focus on these games draws you away from me and your intentions.

I understand. Does 10 hours per week sound like a good start?

It’s a fine start.

Ok, then. That’s what I’ll do.

Lord, do you have any guidance for me on my trouble employee?

Of course I do.

Funny.

No, it’s not funny.

I’m sorry Lord.

It’s ok, but laughter doesn’t make things go away. Laughter is so often used as a barometer of ‘happiness’, when happiness is not even the objective. Laughter is actually a great way to hide substance and pain, which causes greater pain later.

Doesn’t laughter help in healing?

Peace helps in healing. Some people use laughter to mask the pain so that they can arrive at something remotely similar to peace. They use laughter to dull their focus on negative experiences. Negative experiences and pain have their place in life for a reason.

Now don’t get me wrong. Negative experiences and pain are not to be sought, and I do not bring them about in your life to ‘teach you a lesson’, but when they do come about, they should be considered appropriately, while at peace, and released, not bottled up under laughter.

I understand. Can we get back to my employee?

Yes. Now consider this. What you are about to do will affect this person and those close to her.

Well how’s that for a guilt trip.

Michael, hold on. I didn’t even say how it would affect them. Michael, your responsibility is to do what is right. In this case, what is right is to let go of your emotions and make the appropriate decision for the sake of the good of the organization you serve.

So, what emotions are there that I may not be recognizing?

Fear is definitely there.

Fear of what?

Fear of what she’ll say back to you. Fear that she’ll go out fighting. Fear that she’ll impact how others think about you.

True. What other emotions?

Anxiety.

Isn’t anxiety the same as fear?

No, Michael. Anxiety is different from fear in that it’s not necessarily good or bad – it’s just the presence of heightened anticipation.

So, in this case is my anxiety good or bad?

You have some of both.

Ok. Any other emotions?

Michael, let’s stay focused on the task at hand. When you do this, it’s imperative that you stay calm. As long as you are calm, I will be with you. If you let your emotions get the best of you, in anger, fear, etc, you will not receive my wisdom.

I understand. Thank you Lord.

It’s not weird to be weird

Dear Lord.  Thank you for your guidance and direction. I did what you said with my boss and did not press the issue about the concerns I was having and believe it was the right thing to do.

I’m thinking about what to ask you about.

You don’t have to ask me anything. We can just be together.

Ok, that’s something I can ask. What does that really mean – “be together”. How do I ‘hang out’ with you?

Well, you don’t have to ask a question in order to say something to me. Your questions are good, but they’re not the only means of our communion. In fact, if you had a relationship with someone where the only conversation you had revolved around your questions for them, it would be a very one-sided relationship. I love you so deeply that I will be here for you no matter what and no matter how often, but there are other components to the relationship.

I understand. Like what?

Like appreciation for one.

Praise and worship.

Yes

Ok, what else?

Michael, you’re doing it again. How about you talk to me without questions for one prayer.

Ok…

How are you feeling today?

I feel good. I feel like I have good energy today. I’m also feeling good that the issue I’m having with one of my employees is going to come to a head. It will be a difficult couple of weeks, but the end is very likely near and that is relieving that we can move on from it.

That’s good. I’ll be with you throughout.

Thank you Lord

What else? What’s on your mind that you want to share with me? Not ask, but share.

…

I’m excited in the direction my life is going with my focus on living by my intentions. As you know, I am using a website called Mindbloom that is helping me organize and measure my intentions, which I think really helps.

That’s wonderful. It’s great to see as well.

What else Micheal. Don’t stop this prayer because you’re uncomfortable. Grow through the challenge. How are you feeling?

I feel good that we’re reconnecting. It’s like I’m reconnecting with my best friend.

For me as well.

I feel bad that my wife and I haven’t been consistent with going to small group.

Don’t feel bad. They are there for you when you need them to be. They won’t shut you out.

But I was hoping to make friendships.

Were you?

What do you mean? Of course I was.

I’m not so sure. What motivations do you think you had in joining the small group?

Making Christian friends, building relationship with Jen, sharing what I’ve learned with others, seeing our old dog, giving the kids some opportunity to make new friends, …

A lot of that is true, but you’re missing something important.

Please tell me…

You’re missing you.

What does that mean?

You didn’t let me finish.  You’re missing you and me.

I am aren’t I… You’re right of course, growing, and really re-connecting in my relationship with you was a central reason for joining the small group.

Michael, friends aren’t an ‘end’, they’re a ‘means’. You don’t have friends to have friends. You have friends for the support they provide. Your focus is on the wrong thing. Plus, you think you don’t need anyone else’s support.

You’re right…

You’ve had challenges in your life and you’ve responded by hardening to other people. You’ll be nice, but you won’t open up, in fear of being hurt again.

That’s true, but I started to open up in the group, and got the feeling like I was ‘getting weird’ or something.

Michael, you ARE weird, but that is not weird. It’s not weird to be weird. Everyone has their own personality and quirks. The key is to lay yourself out on the table so that you attract the right people in to your life. You don’t want people to want to be your friend because of some act you’re putting on. You don’t have to act cool. Just be yourself, and if it’s cool, then you’ll attract like-minded people, if not, then you’ll attract like-minded people.

I understand. Thank you Lord.

Anxiety about work

Heavenly Father.

Stop Michael, you’re not focused.

…

Father, I need to come to you with something on my mind.

I’m here, Michael.

I’m feeling anxiety about my boss at work. It’s like she’s not telling me something.

Well, she’s not.

I see your point.. either way, whether the review will be good or bad, I can’t know until the time is appropriate.

True

I just get the feeling that something negative is on the horizon.

What gives you that idea?

She seems to be waffling on things that would be in my interest.

Go on…

Well, like my suggestion about the RFP Quality Assurance team reporting to me. She never even responded. And then with the new PM hire, who’s a very good candidate, she says she’ll ‘think about it’. I don’t get it.

Michael, she has a lot on her plate right now. You’re pressing. Don’t press or you may create a negative situation where one doesn’t exist.

Yes, true…

She is doing what she feels is appropriate for the business. She’s not trying to hold you down. You don’t have to worry – worry will only suffocate you and limit your potential.

OK.

Is there something else?

Oh.. yeah.. so these last couple of days, you know that I’ve prayed and journaled because of the mindbloom program. Basically, because I get points for doing things I intend.

Yes. So?

Well…

We covered this yesterday. It’s OK Michael. I’m glad we’re communicating.. that’s it. Mindbloom is nothing more than a way for you to think through your intentions and gives you a tangible, yet digital, reward for following through.

True.

So your intention is on me? And you get a silly reward for following through on that intention? So be it. You will see that your reward is the prayer – this is the blessing.

I know. I don’t know what I shut you out. I know.. distraction.. what distracted me?

You invited Satan in with the filth that you were watching – Spartacus.

Wow, yeah. That was pretty sleezy. I’m sorry.

What matters is now.. what matters is that you’re here. Don’t get sucked in to his ploys. If something is pulling you in with a lure that goes against my will, you must fight his wiles. Stand up, get angry and fight.

I will Lord. Thank you for not leaving me.

I never will

Good night

Getting Back in Touch

Dear Lord. I am reaching for your hand. I am looking for your lead. I am ready for your step-by-step guidance.

Michael, saying you are ready and being ready are two different things.

Well, isn’t my intention a good thing?

It could be. Intentions are not actions.

Then.. Lord.. what is the next step for me? What decision do you want me to make right now? What action do you want me to take right now?

What you’re doing is a good start. However, the positioning of your questions is wrong.

I know.. What do you want to do through me right now?

That’s it Michael

Ok, then, what do you want to do through me right now?

We’re not there yet Michael. We need to get back in touch.

That’s disappointing.

You won’t follow my lead let alone let me act through you if we’re not in close communion.

I understand your point. I want to get back to that point.

As do I.

It just takes consistency right?

No, Michael. It takes the focus of your heart.

Right, ok.. right. So, for example, right now I’m praying and journaling because of my intention to do so, but that isn’t sufficient is it?

It actually is Michael. It’s the first step. It’s an act of your will to re-connect with me. That demonstrates the condition of your heart. But don’t waver. Read your prior entries. Feel how tangible our relationship was, so that we don’t have to start from scratch again. What is important is your trust – your “blind faith” – in me.

Well “blind” in that I trust you at face value, because I’ve learned to do so.. not “blind” in that I’m taking some “leap of faith” correct?

Correct. You have learned to trust me. You have just forgotten. But it’s still there.

Have we lost something by the silence?

We’ve lost time. ‘Opportunity cost’ would be an appropriate way to describe it.

Yeah, I get it. Am I on the right path now?

You’re here aren’t you?

Yes, I suppose

Well aren’t you?

YES!  I am Lord 🙂  And this is where I want to be in this moment.

I need to make time for this again.

It only takes a few minutes. It doesn’t need to keep you up late at night. 15 minutes per day is just as effective in many ways as 2 hours twice per week.

I can see that.

However, there may be times when the ‘flow’ of our communication deserves extra time, but you’ll know when that is, because you won’t want to stop.

So just commit to 15 minutes.

Commit sounds like a scary word. Shouldn’t it be in-the-moment choice?

Of course it’s an in-the-moment choice, whether you make a commitment or not. The commitment is a statement of your intention. A commitment becomes a way to measure your integrity. And your integrity becomes a measure of how much I can trust you.

I understand that. Lord, I love these “sessions” with you.

As do I.

Lord, did our financial charity please you?

It did.

Was it of the right heart?

If it wasn’t, it wouldn’t have pleased me.

I was struggling a bit with thoughts of your promise regarding tithes and offerings – thinking that our gift would be blessed in multiple.

Michael, your charity was not a tithe, but it was an offering.

Wait.. I didn’t expect that. I expected that you would say that the charity gift was insufficient to be considered a tithe, because it wasn’t 10%. I was actually feeling like it was lacking.

Michael, your charity was from your heart, not obligation.

True.. so what does that mean?

That means it’s an offering.

Hmm.. it’s that simple?

Yes.

So does that mean that you are disappointed that I am not giving 10% of my income out of obligation?

Only disappointed in the sense that you are not experiencing the blessing that you could because of that choice.

So my choice to have security rather than the blessing you refer to is just that – a choice?

Yes, Michael. I do not love you any less for not tithing, nor does it affect your afterlife with me. However, your tithing is a way that you demonstrate your trust in my ‘commands’. It also demonstrates that I can trust you with more resources.

I understand. Thank you for who you are – thank you Lord for loving me and being available to me in spite of my inadequacies.

You are not inadequate, simply distracted. Satan has you ‘rubbernecking’ if you will.

Yeah, I get it. Thank you again, and I love you and I will talk to you tomorrow.

I love you too Michael.

Coming Back

I stumbled across a new website today called Mindbloom.  It’s basically a game that focuses your thoughts and actions on what you intend, and growing in ways that you intend.

I intend to grow in my relationship with Christ again, like it once was.

I intend to live intentionally.

I have one shot at this life – and this is it.