Prayer

Lord.

Clear your mind Michael.

I know, I’m all over the place.

This is good. Writing your prayers helps you to focus your thoughts. I’m surprised you’ve resisted for so long. I have so much to share.

Like what?

Like why you don’t come to me for council.

You want to share with me why I don’t come to you for council? Or you want me to come to you for council?

Both

What do you mean by the first?

There’s a reason you don’t come to me for council.

Pride

Yes, Michael.

…

Don’t lose this stream of thought. Your pride is your primary limitation. You are very capable; I have made it so. You have great things in store for you and I have much to do through you for the benefit of this world and for my glory. But you must release your pride. It will not work the way you or I want if you won’t come to me for council. I am your master. Do you accept that.

Yes, master.

I am your teacher. Do you accept that?

Yes, teacher.

Then come to me. I’m always here. This writing has always been fruitful for you Michael.

I suppose I’ve felt …

Stop Michael. Your “feelings” betray you. Just stop. You know the fruit that has been borne of your prayer and your writing out your prayer.

Yes, Lord.

So your “feelings” are of no consequence, and your “feelings” have gotten in the way of our communion and my ability to bless you.

Your ability?

Yes, Michael. Your acceptance and reception hinders my ability. I have made it so by providing you with your own conscience. Yes, I know the end from the beginning, but I do not make your decisions for you; that would make our relationship an artificial one.

I understand.

Michael.

Yes, Lord?

You do not know what you don’t know.

Thanks captain obvious.

Ha ha. What I mean is… receive this Michael. You’re fighting what you think I’m about to say. Let down your wall and receive what is right and good for you.

Ok Lord. I’m just afraid that your council will lead me away from what I’ve invested so greatly in.

Michael. You have not invested yourself wholly into your business. You know this. You’ve been receiving my thoughts all night.

Yes, Lord. So… what is it? I didn’t pour myself in because I trusted too much in other people? I thought that was what was in the best interest of the team. I thought the team was your doing, put together for each person’s own experience, skill and contribution and value.

Michael. The pieces were there, but the intent was not.

What do you mean intent?

Some intend to work. Some intend to build.

What does that mean? I think I understand, but it doesn’t seem quite right to me.

When you build, you start from nothing. You start with an empty palatte; a blank sheet of paper. Some of the founders came in with too much expectation already written on their hearts. To much entitlement.

Did I have entitlement?

Some, but not what others did. How can a business pay employees when a business doesn’t have any income? How can a plant produce fruit, when it has no roots or water or soil. Your company wasn’t even planted and founders were already expecting to be paid.

I suppose that’s true. Are we planted now?

In a way, yes. But there’s so much more to do. The seed is sewn, but it needs regular feeding, proper sunlight, proper water, rich soil… you can’t strip a plant of it’s future fruit. To do so is to rape the plant of its potential.

Not sure I understand this. If we had investors, and some founders had financial needs, isn’t it ok to pay them for their time?

Yes, but then don’t call them founders. They’re not the seed; they’re the water.

I sort of understand the analogy, but not sure about the specifics. Do you want me to understand the specifics.

Not necessarily; I want you to understand my point. You were not fully invested. Your father is right in that regard.

Ok.

You put faith in people, rather than coming to me for council, and now you’re in a hole.

Ok.

You didn’t stand up for what you knew was right with the equity situation, and instead chose the easy road and deferred to the group, and now you’re in a hole.

Ok.

You created a product / program based on your own supposed wisdom, and left me out of the equation, and now you’re in a hole.

Ok.

Michael. You’re in a serious hole, and you need to come to grips with that.

I understand. I know. Everything always seems like it’s right around the corner. Like right now, feeling like our assumptions will be validated with website traffic.

Whether it is or it isn’t, you didn’t come to me, and your product isn’t what it could be – yet.

Well, what do you want me to do? It seems like there are so many paths. I feel like I’m drowning in minutiae.

The first step is trusting in me. And trusting in me means knowing that I know best, and that I want to share my guidance with you. That’s part of how I bless you. I don’t just wave a wand and create outcomes – usually. I bless the process, which ends up bearing vibrant fruit.

I understand. What is the next step.

One step Michael. One step in faith. Trust in me. See if you can keep that perspective for one day and we can talk again tomorrow.

Ok. Thank you Lord.

Good night Michael.

Juice Fast – Day 6

Still going! I’m surprised at myself, but it’s actually turning out to be much easier than I imagined.

I have to say that my energy level is definitely better than it was prior. My eating was probably a 7 out of 10 before, so it’s likely that the improvement in nutrition is a big reason for my clarity, energy, etc. I suspect that incorporating juice into a diet that’s 8 or 9 out of 10 would give me similar, long-lasting quality of life.

The number on the scale has dropped by 9.8 lbs, which is pretty exciting. That’s about 2 lbs per day. Not sure what to expect for the last half of the fast, but I would love to lose 5 more on this journey.

Unfortunately, day 10 of the fast happens to be Super Bowl, which is one of my usually bigger eating days. I’m not committing to anything – just like I never really “committed” to doing 10 days – but I’m just curious what choices I will instinctively make. If I do break the fast, I suspect that I will eat far less than I would normally – basically tastes of the different things I like. I suspect for some period of time after the fast, that I will savor food far more than I was doing prior. I hope I do.

Speaking of not committing, it comes to mind that not committing is exactly how I quit smoking about 12 years ago. I basically said to myself, very casually, I wonder how long I can go without a cigarette. 7-10 days later, I had the same pack in my pocket and decided I didn’t need it any more and through it out. From 10-20 cigarettes per day to 0, out of nothing but curiosity. Seems like there’s something within me that thrives off of this approach.

I do have one craving: steak. I’m surprised, because I have been practically addicted to Baja Fresh for probably around 10 years or so, eating there an average of 3+ times per week. But I can’t say that I’ve had any desire for it during this fast. Not that Baja Fresh is unhealthy – I think it relatively is – but it’s just interesting that I haven’t craved it strongly.

Juice Fast – Day 3

Woke up this morning sensing a different energy than I’m used to. I’m used to being groggy for at least 10-20 minutes, but this morning, I could sense a clarity of mind from the moment I sat up.

Also, was happy to see a lower number on the scale this morning.  7.5 lbs so far – in 2 days of juice fasting. That seems like a lot. I can’t imagine that was anything but waste and water. But it is still good to see the number going down so fast. I’m going to need to keep an eye on the weight after the fast is over, to see where I stabilize to.

Had probably the nastiest juice last night.. beets, carrots, tomatoes, celery, radishes, jalapeno, parsley. Added some apple and it was better, but still very hard to drink.

Had a great juice this morning.. pineapple, oranges, celery, cucumber. I could definitely start my day like that!

Oh, lastly, I’m sensing that my sinuses seem to be clearing up significantly. I’ve always known that I live day to day with some congestion, but haven’t had the discipline to take the nasal spray intended to relieve it so I’ve just lived with it. Now that it’s clear, or nearly clear, I’m wondering how I lived like that.. It makes me wonder whether there was something in what I was eating that I am allergic to and don’t know it. The only way I can think to find out is to re-introduce foods slowly after my fast so that I can determine whether any of the foods cause symptoms.

Also, I don’t know whether this is due to a lower energy level as I get used to the juice fast diet, but I sense that my mood is calming a bit. Things aren’t bothering me as quickly, and I’m being more focused and intentional – like my mind isn’t in constant hyperdrive mode. Like I said, it may be from a lower energy level, and it’s actually similar to what I experience when I have a cold, but it’s worth noting here. I don’t know whether I’d call my energy “lower”, per se, but definitely more relaxed.

Juice Fast – Day 1

Today I started what’s called a “juice fast”. 10 days of consuming nothing but fresh juice and water. Will I make it? They say it depends on why you’re doing it. So I’ve decided to write about the experience.

I feel there’s something wrong with how I think about food. I want [insert food here], and then end up feeling worse after eating it than I did before. The craving subsides, but my quality of life has diminished as payment.

I am not happy with my health level. I want to have energy at the end of the day for my kids. I want to stop yawning all the time. I don’t feel tired during the day, but I yawn for seemingly no reason. I want to feel alive, clear headed, able to focus. And I never want to have to take prescription medications, but my doctor warned me – some 6 months ago or something – that I’m headed in that direction. I don’t know if it was a scare tactic or something, but I just know that I do not feel the way that I know I could / should feel – the way I have felt before when I was in better shape.

On a spiritual level, I’ve always had a desire to fast.. I guess out of curiosity. My understanding is that spiritual fasting trains your mind to understand that the body doesn’t need what we learn (in error) it needs. If this is true, it makes complete sense to fast periodically throughout life to keep those habits at bay. This juice fast allows me to relearn about what sustenance my body needs, while still taking in sufficient nutrition.

So some friends recently turned my wife on to juicing. Then she and I saw the documentary movie Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead together. I had seen it before, and been inspired, but didn’t think it would fly in my house, and it was forgotten. I’ve been making playful fun of my wife’s interest, even though I knew it’s something I wanted to do/try deep down, but she insisted and persisted that she was interested in giving it a try. I’m so thankful for that, because I can now dive in and give the fast a try.

I’m fearful of two things: 1) not being able to finish the 10 days; 2) recognizing significant health benefits and then falling back into my old habits. These fears are why I’m journaling about this.

So today I had my first juice. Funny enough, juicing is actually fun. Cleaning it is not (I assume – my wife cleaned it for me – thank you!), but seeing the fruit get obliterated in 0.1 seconds is a bit gratifying – I don’t know why…

My first concoction was cucumber, carrots, apple, ginger root (what!) – I think that was it. What a feast – yeah right lol. I was actually surprised by the taste. I was expecting a 1 (out of 10) taste.  What I got was probably a 6.5 – definitely palatable, and I finished the whole thing without a single gag reflex!  BUT, I am expecting that the more I juice, my taste buds will begin to “reset” or something, which I think will produce juice cravings, or at least a stronger affinity to the flavors. Maybe that will happen – we’ll see.

I’m looking forward to experiencing how I feel on nothing but juice.  I’m expecting the first 3-4 days to be pretty rough, based on what I saw on the documentary. But the promise of how people felt on days 5+ appears to be worth it.

So, my first juice was at about 7:30 AM.  It’s now almost 9:30, and I’m starting to get hungry.  I’ll check in again later.

The Power of Christian Blogging

Those of us Christians who blog have at least a sense of the value in our lives that blogging represents. For me, over the years, it’s pretty much been a matter of recording much of what I learn and experience (about the most important topic in my life – my relationship with Christ) into a system that I can organize and refer to later.

I would love to learn how your Christian blog impacts your life.

Why do you blog, and how does it benefit you specifically as a Christian? What do you hope for when you click “Publish”?

I very much hope to hear from you.

God’s peace,
Michael

A New Path

Rhonda (BoW member) again inspired me to write this post in her post entitled “Created for a Purpose”. I commented on her post, but I wanted to keep record of my thoughts in my own blog and would certainly welcome comments from anyone who reads my posts as well.

…

In this time of economic uncertainty, I have been very blessed to have been steadily employed. At the same time, I am feeling called to entreprenuership, and the calling is growing in strength. My unrest lies in having the strength and courage to do what I am feeling I have been created to do, but that would mean giving up the ‘security’ of the steady employment, which feels irresponsible for the sake of providing for my family. I battle between the notions of “doing what’s appropriate” and “trusting God”.

I honestly feel lulled by the apparent “safety” of the steady employment. I feel it’s actually keeping me from doing what I am most passionate about, and how I can make the greatest positive impact in people’s lives. I feel like I’m on a precepice, about to launch in a new direction, but clinging on to the familiar.

Is it appropriate to “seek a sign”? I trust in the notion that I could be successful in this new path, and I trust in God’s protection as His child, but giving up the success I’ve had so far in my career is very unnerving. 

So far, I’ve toyed with exploring the new path on a part time project-oriented basis, but my heart is definitely being pulled in this new direction, and I feel that I could gain ground much more quickly if I dove in fully.

Please, please share your experiences and wisdom with me!

Feel, Learn, Respond

Rhonda (a BoW member) inspired me to write this with her post “It’s Okay to Feel Your Feelings”. I commented on her post, but wanted to share with anyone who may be following my posts as well as retain my thoughts about the subject on my own blog. Thanks Rhonda for a provocative post.

Side note: If you’re not already following my blog, I encourage you to do so (or follow others’ blogs) by clicking on the “Follow” button on the right sidebar. You will see your profile picture (avatar) show up under the “Subscribers” section. There are associated features in the top menu bar (see the “My Favorite Christian Blogs” menu item), as well as exciting things planned for the future!

On to my post…

I view emotions as symptoms, but I think many people see them as problems or blessings. As symptoms, emotions tell us what’s really going on inside of us, when most of us are busy putting on masks for others (and even try to fool ourselves), our emotions (as long as we’re willing to feel them) clue us in to our true reality, which allows us to learn from them and do something about it.

As a parent, my responsibility is not to teach my children not to “cry” (or feel other emotions). My responsibility is to teach them how to appropriately express their emotions, how learn from what those emotions are teaching them, and how to figure out what to do about it. For example, it’s ok to feel anger, but how my children express that anger, learn from that anger, and respond to that anger is my responsibility to teach.

Feel… Learn… Respond

To try to convince yourself that you’re not angry (or sad or whatever) is simply repression – it doesn’t deal with the root cause of the emotion. As Christians, a healthy response is to recognize the anger, and then seek out council (Bible, prayer, pastor, etc) on the root cause of the anger and how to deal with that specific situation that is creating anger within you. Repression is only a temporary tactic – you will deal with the emotion sooner or later.

On the other side of the emotional spectrum, joy and peace are examples of symptoms of a state of connection with our Lord. They are natural “fruit” of our relationship with Him. We don’t seek peace, we seek Him and peace is produced. We don’t seek joy, we seek Him and (true) joy is produced.

In a personal relationship, happiness is not the blessing, the healthy and fruitful relationship is the blessing and the emotion (happiness) is the symptom (fruit – and rotten relationships produce rotten fruit).

What do you think? 

How would you expand on what’s written above? Do you have any examples from your experience? Please use the comments to let me know!

Great Quote

Just thought I would share a quote with you all.

“Christ-likeness is not produced by imitation but by inhabitation.”

Have a wonderful Thursday!

Plan not to Plan

I have so much joy over what is happening with Beginning of Wisdom. People are using it and enjoying it. People are being blessed by it. That is such a blessing to me.

Lord, thank you for blessing this website. Thank you for your timing. Thank you for the opportunity to bless you through my hands.

Thank you Michael.

I need to get something off my chest.. And I hope it’s ok that I do so.

Of course it is Michael.

I feel a sense of competition with other Christian blogging websites. What is the proper perspective?

You can do nothing but through me. I am the one. It is my accomplishment for the making. Take yourself out of it. Take your ego and toss it far away from you. Then let me do what I will through you and the site will be blessed.

What is the next step Lord?

You won’t like it.. And don’t see it coming.

ok.. What?

It’s not a matter of what. Is a matter of when.

What does that mean?

Michael, do you trust me?

Yes, Lord.

What I have to tell you must be heard with faith.

I trust you Lord.

Michael.. You must do whatever you must do, whenever you must do it.

What the heck does that mean?

You are thinking too far ahead. You love to plan.. You’re good at planning. You’ve experienced success because of this skill. But it won’t do you much good right now.

We’re still talking about BoW?

Yes Michael. Although there’s also applicability elsewhere.

Ok, so don’t plan. Wing it?

No.. Respond to my will. My will will be evidenced through the needs of my church. And just because someone says they need something does not mean they need it. Be sensitive to the calling of m church, but look to me for guidance.

Understood. That’s not so hard.

It will be when your planning instincts take over again. Remember this talk.

Yes, Lord. Thank you.

BoW Prosperity Plan

Life Mission

My life mission is to foster millions of Christians’ communion with Christ (prayer, Bible study, etc). I will do this by encouraging a serious focus on attaining devine wisdom through journaling online.

Destiny

Within 10 years, I will have created a vibrant community of over one million Christians who are actively sharing how their relationship with Christ is growing in intimacy through communion with Him and interacting with other Christians interested or experiencing the same thing. Beginning of Wisdom will become THE only blogging platform that a Christian would choose to publish on. Hundreds of thousands of Christians who were previously did not journal now journal regularly and consider their BoW journal to be their most valued earthly possession.

Area of Innovation

Quality will be the area of innovation. The site will be absolutely beautiful. It will be a place that Christians LONG to be.. not out of obligation.. not out of addiction.. but out of appreciation of beauty and out of love for Christ and other Christians.

Immutable Laws

1 – We serve Christ by investing and profiting from the talents that He has entrusted us with
2 – Ethics and integrity are the bedrock of our success, are are never to be compromised
3 – We work passionately to make a difference, but never at the expense of risking a failed household

Community