Prayer

Lord, I’m here. Please speak to me.

Honor your father. But honoring your father does not mean following him.

I understand.

Honor means learning from his experiences. Understand what his life has to teach in my name. And apply it. Be the man your father…

Michael, you corrected me. Don’t do that. Let my voice flow.

Be the man your father cannot be.

I’m sorry Lord. I corrected you because I thought I was not hearing you correctly. “Cannot be?” He can be who you want him to be, can’t he?

Only if he turns to me. But he’s blinding himself. His experiences and decisions blind him, just as yours do. But you may honor him by having an objective perspective on his experiences and decisions.

I’m so sorry I have pushed your guidance aside. I’ve only heard what I wanted to hear. I’ve known that all along in this.

It’s ok Michael. As long as you learn from it. If you end up in the same position again, it will be another waste of time.

Will you bless my time and experience in this?

You know I will. You have learned and are better equipped now for what comes next.

What comes next?

Don’t worry about that – just trust in me.

Yes, Lord.

I’m so sorry.

I know Michael

…
…
Feel it Michael. Don’t push it aside. It’s right for you to feel this way for any lack of trust in my guidance, but I forgive you. I love you.

I know, Lord.

…

Michael, be at peace.

How is that possible?

…

Michael, I am your peace.

But my relationship with my father is now again in the toilet.

I am your father. He cannot be who I can be for you. I understand your desire for relationship with him, but he is a man… fallible and broken, just like you. I am your perfect father. Trust in me – please!!!

I was going to say “I do”, but I now realize that it’s more than just saying the words… trust means demonstration. I did a piss poor job of demonstrating that didn’t I?

Michael, your heart was good and pure. You just didn’t trust in me. You kept your integrity throughout. Don’t let his lashings sway you from your holiness. I took lashings too.

Yes, Lord, you did.

Your lashings hurt. As did mine.

There’s no comparison.

There is, Michael. Emotional lashings leave scars, just as physical ones do.

Should I protect myself and my family from future lashings?

Love him. He’s tormented by a past you cannot imagine. and a genealogy you’ve also inherited. Be the one to stop this in its tracks. You have young ones. Don’t let them carry this pain and burden.

What pain and burden?

…

Poor me. This feeling of inadequacy.

…

This feeling like you’re not good enough. I made you. You are good enough. You’re more than that. You are my child. I made you for so much more.

I’m sorry, Lord. I feel too beat down for a pep talk.

Then he’s already won.

Who?

The enemy.

My dad?

No, THE enemy. Don’t let him in. At any cost.

I accept your truth that I am your son, and I can always come to you as the perfect father.

Good. Don’t forget. Times won’t necessarily get easier.

I know. I have a suspicion that things are about to get tougher. I pray for your blessing and protection. Please guide those who may have influence on my life to decide in ways to bless me and my family. I pray for your favor Lord.

You have my favor. Stay true to who you are – my child, born for greatness, born to rule in my name. I am your master. You are my son. Come to me and receive peace and eternal prosperity.

Thank you Lord.