My Walk with Christ
An ordinary guy on a supernatural journey.
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Disheartened
Posted on October 31st, 2010 No commentsLord Jesus. I want to be completely open and honest with you. I need your strength and comfort now. This evening while I was at the church carnival, I had a distinct feeling of awkwardness about what I am doing in journaling my prayers with you and what you are doing with Beginning of Wisdom. I think it started when I told [my sister’s fiancée] that I am starting a ministry and I wanted to tell him and [my sister] about it. Now, it wasn’t the right time to go into it, but after I made the statement, there were a one or two other times that night, I think just as I was observing other people talking or whatever, that I felt basically foolish or naive for doing this. I ask that you shed some light on this for me.Michael, I have something huge to reveal to you.What, Lord?What they think doesn’t matter. What you think they think matters even less.That’s true… I understand that.Michael, there is a reason that you are not distracted by relationships. There is purpose in it. It’s purpose has led you down this path; down the path I am leading you. Your relationships in the past have done nothing but serve as distraction from me. I cannot have that for you at this time. There will be a time for it, but now is not it.Also, you are right to appreciate your wife. I know that you came away from tonight feeling unworthy and grateful that she chooses to be with you. You don’t have anything to feel unworthy for her devotion, in fact, you are exactly who she needs in certain ways and she is exactly who you need in certain ways. However, you are right to appreciate her – you are called to love her as I love my church. Lay down your life for her. She may or may not appreciate it. She may or may not do what you want for her to do. But that is not the point. You do what I call you to do, and you and your relationship with her will be blessed.
Thank you Lord. Your word brings such comfort. It saddens me to go through life without close friendships, but if you say there is purpose in it, then I trust you. Is there anything you would have me do about it?Michael, you can just simply stop worrying about it. When you meet people, don’t place such high expectations or hope for what could be. Be yourself, for better or worse. I will bring the right people into your life when the time is good for me and my purposes.Like I said, Lord, this saddens me, but I trust you.Michael, remember what I said earlier… what matters least is what you think you know about someone else. The thing is, what you say saddens you is not necessarily something that you are lacking. You are not prepared to have the kind of relationships that I want for you. You are not prepared to turn away the kind of relationships that I don’t want for you. They would be a hindrance to my work through you. I know you don’t want that.I understand Lord. I’ll let go of the “need”, and trust you that it is in your hands. Is there anything else you would have me know tonight?I am pleased that you came to me in this way. It is of tremendous benefit to our relationship that you are able to be vulnerable and personal with me. That is the kind of communion that will be blessed and will build our relationship to the point of true power in your life and in the world.Thank you Lord.Leave a reply