Fathered by God

I prayed:

Why don’t I remember anything about my childhood?

The response was:

Because you asked to forget it.

(which I distinctly remember doing, but don’t remember when). I asked:

Can it be undone?

The immediate response was:

Over time.

I asked:

Can you please just reveal one thing, just one thing?

What came to mind was the time that [my supposed friend] punched me in the nose when I was very young (why I don’t know), and I was completely unprepared. I was not fathered in how to protect myself, or even what violence was. My response was crying and running into the house – I didn’t know what just happened, what the hate was. I ran into the house and went to where my mom and dad were sitting at the kitchen table, and their response was basically, ‘so why are you crying’ – like toughen up or something. Absolutely no understanding or comfort at all. That made me feel very alone.

Thank you lord for revealing this to me. Please reveal more of how my heart has been hurt, so that I may accept your healing. My heart is open for your work.