Patience

It makes me really sad to admit this, but it’s been months since I’ve done this – sat at my keyboard in prayer, asking God for His wisdom and guidance.

Lord Jesus. Heavenly Father. I come before you…

Michael, stop. You know that you don’t need formality with me. Even if it’s been a while, you can approach me with the same intimacy as ever before. Nothing has changed.

Ok.

Lord, I’m sorry that I’ve been distant. I don’t know… wait.. yes, I do know why. Distraction.

Yes.

I began choosing other things over you. It started innocently, but over time, my heart was no longer focused on you like it was. Lord, how can I avoid this happening again?

Michael, your lifestyle makes complete avoidance unrealistic. Your lifestyle is somewhat a symptom of your environment, but you have control over more than you think or would admit to.

Can I begin to take back control?

Of course, Michael. It starts with your next decision, your next choice. These last couple of days, you have been choosing me. That is good. That is progress toward intimacy. You have chosen not to drink in excess. You have chosen to focus your discretionary time on your family and on me. That is exactly what it takes to take back control. But there’s more…

Ok. What more?

Consider your life before this happened, when you thought our relationship, our intimacy was invincible.

Ok.

No, Michael. Stop and think about it.

I sought you.

Yes.

It was an active passion toward knowing you and relating with you.

Yes.

I felt a sense of strength in knowing that I was aligned with you.

Yes.

But I still feel strength. I still feel trust that you are with me and that you are protecting and providing for me and my family.

And I am. That will not change.

Michael, you have much to learn. You still have great spiritual maturity ahead of you.

I know, Lord. What is the next step?

Patience.

What do you mean? I hope you don’t mean ‘waiting for you’ to do something in or through my life.

Patience with yourself, Michael.

Patience with myself is a step in spiritual maturity? I don’t think I understand.

Patience leads to virtue.

Huh? I don’t get it.

Look up virtue.

Ok…

Virtue
1. moral excellence; goodness; righteousness.
2. conformity of one’s life and conduct to moral and ethical principles; uprightness; rectitude.
3. chastity; virginity: to lose one’s virtue.
4. a particular moral excellence. Compare cardinal virtues, natural virtue, theological virtue.
5. a good or admirable quality or property: the virtue of knowing one’s weaknesses.
6. effective force; power or potency: a charm with the virtue of removing warts.
7. virtues, an order of angels.
8. manly excellence; valor.

Well, I still don’t understand. I understand virtue, I think. But not the connection between patience and virtue. What am I missing?

You’re not missing anything Michael. Look at the words.

Ok…

Do you think you can be righteous without patience? Look at chastity – that is the epitome of patience. It talks about ‘knowing one’s weaknesses’ as a good thing – not that you’re constantly trying to overcome your weaknesses. Patience has to do with all of these things. You’re so quick to see a weakness and want to fill it. That is not wisdom. That is not spiritual maturity.

Ok…

Michael. Listen. You are not who you want to be. You are who you are.

Oh.. my.. God.

At this point tears are welling up as His lesson hits home.

You’re right. I’m always trying to be something different. Something more. I’m always reaching, and thinking that that is a good thing. It’s not?

Michael, it’s not. Reaching for the sake of reaching is not a good thing. Reaching for greatness in something that you know you are meant for is something else. Allowing me to work through you to achieve greatness is best.

Ok, so what do I do about it?

We’ll save that for tomorrow night. I want consistency with you Michael. It’s for your own good.

Ok, Lord. Thank you and I love you.

Don’t say it, demonstrate it.