My Walk with Christ
An ordinary guy on a supernatural journey.
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Comfort and Guidance
Posted on November 12th, 2010 No commentsLord Jesus. I’m here to be with you.Michael, you are always with me, and I with you.Lord, I just didn’t know how to start. I’m ashamed of my recent choices.I know, Michael. You don’t need to be ashamed. You haven’t sinned, but you have been distracted. Your distractions are a normal part of this process. The sooner you can identify a distraction and choose to walk away from it, the sooner our relationship can flourish from that decision. Some people can spend years, or even their entire life in distraction. Your sensitivity to it is a good thing. It reveals your heart.Thank you for your encouragement. It’s what I needed to hear. I sense that you’re not condoning my choices, but are telling me that our relationship will not grow as strong as quickly as you’d like it to until I remove these distractions.That’s correct, Michael. But don’t misunderstand. These things you are distracting yourself with – alcohol, games – have the potential power to cause damage to our relationship. Any relationship without communication is sick at best or dead at worst. I want our relationship to be alive and passionate. I want you to have passion for submitting to me, because of the fruit you see in your life because of my influence.Lord, I do see fruit. I know that my relationship with you is far better than I ever previously hoped was possible. At the same time, I want to help others.Hold on Michael. You can’t be saying that you’re choosing distraction because your website isn’t a “hit” yet, can you?Well, I suppose you cut to the root of it. It seems silly when you put it like that. You told me specific things to do, and I’m still not done with the task. How can I be complaining about anything.Michael, do you not see what is flowing from my work in you? Truth and wisdom is being prepared for the world. There is much in store for you. Stay persistent, do not be discouraged. Stay forthcoming with me. I can bear your burdens, and shed light on your clouded perceptions.I understand Lord.Is my progress on the current task pleasing to you?
Other than the distractions? Yes, it is. You have taken the task seriously. You are squeezing wisdom out of every relevant journal entry and preparing it for presentation to the world. Many people will be blessed by this work. It’s still in very raw form, though.Is it ok that I’ve published it in raw form?Yes, your motive is right. You want the information available, even if that means that you risk someone else capitalizing on your idea. That shows trust in me, which I will bless.I’m frustrated that I have not received the type of feedback that I would expect from those nearest to me. Even [my wife] hasn’t even looked at the website (as far as I know), even though I’ve brought it up twice with her. Why do I feel so isolated in this endeavor.You’re not isolated. I am with you. I am working through you. You do not need feedback, but I understand why you’re looking for it.Acceptance and approval?To a certain extent yes, but you’re also looking for Biblical confirmation from those you trust, which is fine. However, it’s not necessary, which is why I have not moved these people to respond in the way that you hope.Why not?I want you to trust in me. I created you with extraordinary talent, and now you have opened yourself up to me so that I may use that talent for my purposes. I want to mold you before I send in reinforcements to help this project take shape.Ok. I trust you Lord. It leaves me feeling empty.. like why am I really doing this if those who are closest to me don’t even appreciate it to the extent that I would expect. I mean if [my wife] were investing herself into something to this extent, I would want to help in any way I could. I would want to support her.She supports you Michael. Just not in the way you look for. In some ways, she’s fearful of this path you’re headed down, and rightfully so, since you’ve talked very little with her about your communion with me.So, what do you want me to do now? Actually, what do you want to do through me now?Stay on task, Michael. Finish what you started and there will be another task.Should I have pursued the non-profit status?It’s not necessary, but it wouldn’t hurt.So, you’re ambivalent to the corporate structure?I couldn’t care less about the corporate structure.So you don’t care whether it’s funded by marketing dollars or by donations?Who said anything about funded?Doesn’t every project need capital?You have the money you need for now on this project. You also have skill in many areas that will allow you to complete tasks in a very cost-effective way. Don’t worry about money. It’s not something to focus on right now.So, the corporate structure doesn’t matter because there’s no need for a corporation, because there’s no real money involved.Exactly.I understand. I was just hoping that this project would get me to a place financially where … actually, after re-reading some of my entries, I’m going to go in a different direction with this… I was hoping that this project would provide me with greater freedom of time – greater freedom to do what you call me to do, when you call me to do it. Right now, I obviously, have a 40+ hour per week commitment that gets in the way.Michael, how can you say that? You’ve chosen distraction over the past week, and you’re saying that if I provided you with more time, that it would be devoted to me? One step at a time, Michael.Lord, I have been POURING time into this project, and you know that. I love you Lord, and I trust you, but it’s frustrating that you would call me out on spending a little time doing other things that I enjoy.Well, that’s basically the point. You are choosing those other things because at the time, they are more appealing to you than communing with me. How do you think I interpret that? You have been pouring time into this project for a few months. I have been guiding and protecting you your entire life. I don’t need to explain further do I?No, Lord you don’t. I am sorry. I have no right to justify myself in choosing to do anything with my discretionary time than seeking you. I choose to seek you first. I choose to do everything in my power to ensure an intimate relationship with you. Please condition my heart to seek you first.This is all part of that conditioning, Michael. I love you, and your growth will take time and there will be bumps along the way, but you are responding well, and will be blessed based on your heart and your obedience.Is there anything else you want to tell me at this time?Just that you don’t need to expect or seek profound insight whenever we talk. I just want you to express what’s on your heart, so that I can comfort you and guide you. Intimacy is far more than a teacher-student relationship. I’m not saying that’s what we have, but I want more focus on you revealing your heart to me. By you exposing your heart, you invite me to heal and condition your heart.Thank you Lord. I choose to present my heart to you for your love and conditioning.Let’s talk again soon.1 responses to “Comfort and Guidance”
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Precious Mike,
I have learned through my journey of life that communication is a gift to your loved ones. To risk being honest about disappointment takes courage but leads to deeper intimacy and growth in a relationship. It is also a blessed way of taking care of yourself. I love you!
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trust November 17th, 2010 at 12:40