Drinking

Last night, I chose to have a beer (we bought a 6-pack for super bowl party).  I was feeling guilty about it, and in prayer I said:

I forget exactly what the response was, but I remember thinking, "wow that was harsh".  Then I said:

The response was:

Then I got the impression that because of that love, there are going to be times when I don’t like the answers to my questions, but those answers are in my own best interest.  I may not be sinning by drinking a beer, but God "will not protect me from the consequences of my decisions" and that I am "playing a dangerous game if I continue."

I also said:

The response was:

His rules / commands are for my own good.  I must trust Him.

Dealing with Addiction

In response to my 10/21 entry about the Xbox game, I did purchase the game – and it’s a great game – but my focus has remained on Christ, which is evidence that my heart is right.  It hasn’t been something I have struggled with avoiding, but more like I’ve preferred Bible study.  I play the game about once per week for 3-5 hours at a sitting (at night when [my middle daughter] is in bed).

More Games

I struggled today with deciding whether or not to buy an Xbox 360 game that I had on pre-order for a couple months – Fable 2.  I struggled because I wasn’t sure whether it was something that ‘God would approve of me doing’.  The feeling I faced was whether my time should be free enough to be spending on something like that or whether I should focus that time on the Lord.  

In studying Ezekiel tonight, Chuck Missler talks about idol worship.  He says that “Any kind of excessive preoccupation with something other than the Lord Jesus Christ Himself, can become an idol.”  

Now the question is, what’s considered excessive?!  Idols offend God.  Our attention and commitment must be on the Lord.  He may even reward the diligence of making decisions that I think He may not necessarily ‘expect’.  For example, maybe it’s ‘ok’ in His eyes that I play a video game here and there, but maybe, just maybe, it brings Him joy when I choose Him.

Too Many Beers

After journaling yesterday about my struggles, when I went to bed, I cried in prayer.  Mostly was calling out to the Lord to speak to me.  He reaffirmed for me that I am on the right path.  He also led me to realize that the issues I experienced last night were caused by a single root – alcohol.  I had drunk 3 beers and that weakened my spiritual abilities and reception of the Holy Spirit.  

He said specifically that:

That is now the rule I will live by.  I feel that there is more to write about that prayer last night, but I can’t remember more of it, which is a great example of how journaling is so valuable to a Christian.

Avoided Temptation – Lesson Learned

I have struggled today against sin.  I have been tempted by WoW, and considering internet and TV smut.  I had 3 beers this evening and I think that resulted in a weaker spirit – a weaker will against temptation, and I did not pray for strength!  

I MUST PRAY FOR STRENGTH WHEN I REALIZE I’M FACING TEMPTATION OR THINK I MAY BE FACED WITH IT.

After I started downloading WoW, I ended up dealing with a very difficult time putting [my middle daughter] down to sleep.  I ended up completely losing my temper with her, and spanked her a number of times.  I later apologized to her before she went to sleep (being comforted by [my wife]), but looking back, it seems like the experience was teaching me something.  WoW correlates with making mistakes with my family, and that is simply not acceptable.

I didn’t realize this until later, but as I started to install WoW, at the very beginning, I got a distinct impression of ‘just obey me, just obey me’.  I immediately cancelled the installation, and felt good about it.  

I CANNOT GET SUCKED BACK INTO THE WOW TIMESINK – IT’S NOT WORTH IT!!!

I may think I conquered this temptation, but God sent me a powerful message and I saw and understood it.  Next time I must ask for His strength when I feel the temptation welling up inside of me.

Overcoming Addiction

As hard as it may be to fully grasp or understand, one day my life will be nothing more than a series of memories. Am I really getting (giving) out of (to) this life what I’m looking for? Am I the man today that I’ll be proud of one day when I look back at my life? I’m sure the answer is no. Read the rest of this entry »