Family Issues

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Arrived in Hawaii

We arrived in Maui today – wow, what a day. Quite a different experience with a 5 yr old and 1 yr old daughters (and 17 yr old stepdaughter). My youngest daughter was far better on the plane trip that we expected, but was still apparently very taxing on my wife. I helped where I could, but my youngest daughter is just so attached to my wife – very clingy at this stage.

What I really wanted to write about was how this trip is a completely different experience from the last time I was here. I keep sensing that I have unrealistic expectations that this trip is going to feel somehow similar to the last time I was here – my honeymoon with my wife. Obviously that will not be the case, but I can’t shake the expectations. If I can’t shake the expectations, then I am doomed to disappointment.

Some of the ways I feel my expectations are unrealistic include:

• I keep reminiscing about how it felt to cruise in the convertible we had here last time. That was a great experience, and I wish to have it again, but this time we have kids and … a minivan.
• The ability to actually sit and relax and enjoy the sound of the waves and a nice quiet dinner with adult company. Again, obviously not going to happen much.
• Being able to do what we want to do. It’s obviously a struggle doing what you want to do when you have kids with you.
• I expect peace. Obviously a 5 and 1 year old are not conducive to peace, in the sense that I’m expecting.

I feel very selfish writing these things. It’s just that our last trip here was basically a dream – and rightfully so, it was our honeymoon.

So, Lord, what is the right perspective on how to make the most of this time with my whole family?

Michael, it’s a good thing that some foundational elements are so different. You will never recreate your honeymoon. You are right that your experience this week will be fundamentally different, and that if you have unrealistic expectations, then the week will be very unpleasant for you.

So how do I reset my expectations?

…

Lord, how do I reset my expectations?

Michael, that’s the wrong question.

What is the right question?

The question isn’t about how do you reset your expectations, it’s how do you make this trip into one you want to try to recreate next time also?

Wow, that is a different perspective. But, last time I was here, we weren’t trying to create experience, we just had great experiences.

Interesting…

Ahh.. I hit on it didn’t I? Instead of having a wonderful time, with the people in my life I love most, I’m trying to create or recreate a wonderful time, and it is doomed to failure?

Good perception.

So the key is to let go. Wait, did I hit on another key point? Trying to create a great time is a mind-game, whereas just having a great time is allowing my heart to lead?

Yes, Michael. Be present, allow your heart to lead, and you will not be disappointed. Also, continue to keep coming to me daily.

Yes, Lord.

Spiritual lessons over loss of our pet

[My wife] and I decided today, after many months of consideration, to put our cat, Milo, ‘to sleep’. It was a very difficult and emotional decision. I went to the animal hospital to have it done, and have had a number of prayers and thoughts that I want to share.

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Disciplining My Daughter

I pray in the name of Jesus Christ.  Lord, …

Michael, don’t start. You’re distracted. Come back when you can focus on me.

Ok.

…

Lord, I ask for your guidance tonight. I am so saddened by my loss of temper with [my daughter]. How can I be a better father to her? How can I help her to understand how to listen and obey?

That’s a good question Michael. Let me know when you figure it out.

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Keep Them Safe

Dear Lord. I just pray to you now to please keep my family safe as they drive off to visit family. They are always in your hands, I recognize that, but please hold them close now. Please guide and protect them as they venture away from home. Please keep their journey safe and their time with family full of love and laughter. In Jesus name. Amen.

Love, Peace and Prosperity

Today I prayed for wisdom and guidance, but stressed reverence for the Almighty God. I asked what fruit He would have me produce. His reply was:

Love, peace, prosperity.

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Not where, but how

I prayed about whether making an offer on the house was God’s will. The answer surprised me. At first, silence. Then, I got the impression that His will for my life is independent from my living situation. That is why He has been silent on the subject! Read the rest of this entry »

Mom’s prayer day

Yesterday, mom let me know that she has decided to admit herself into a recovery facility.  It’s a month program.

Her friends had a prayer meeting for her today.  This experience really showed me the power of friendship. I feel this experience may have been God telling me the importance of the support of close friends.

Lord, please reveal to me the people you intend for me to bring in to my close confidence.  People who you call me to support and who you call to support me.  I pray that you would provide a small group of friends so that I may consistently experience your love in the way that I experienced it for mom today.

May 07, 2009

[My wife] is having contractions tonight!!! [My daughter] might be on her way tomorrow!

Thank you Father for giving me the opportunity to know the kind of love that you feel for me.

Offer on House

Heard from [real estate agent] today that it looks like our offer is going to be accepted by the listing agent, subject to approval by the lender.  We’ll find out more tomorrow.